Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Blackout and Inspiration

So, I have two things that are on my mind tonight.  The first is a funny story and the second is a series of emails that I wanted to share.

I'll start light and get to my more heavy thoughts later. :-)

This past weekend I got my tattoo.  It's beautiful.  If you haven't seen it yet, you can look at my entry from this weekend that has the picture.  It wasn't my first tattoo.  In fact, it was my fourth.  I decided to get it on my arm, partly because it looks bad a** there, partly because it wouldn't hurt quite as badly as my foot.  As my AWESOME tattoo artist Sarah began to do the tattoo, I couldn't believe how much it didn't hurt.  I was expecting huge pain and uncomfortableness.  However, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought.  As we got closer to the end, I started to feel really hot and nauseous.  I felt super embarrassed that I felt sick, so I didn't say anything.  Then I really starting sweating in a bad way.  She finished my arm and I asked her to fix a small spot on my left wrist tattoo.  As she was doing small lines, my vision began to blurry and voices began to sound really far away.  I thought maybe I just needed water, so as she finished I asked JD for water.  I stood up, thought about how embarrassing it would be to throw up in the tattoo studio, and then don't remember the next couple seconds.

Apparently, I looked like I was going hug the tattoo artist and then passed out.  Oops.  Well, this is what I learned, if you don't have enough sugar in your body, you can pass out from the adrenaline rush.  That is apparently what happened to me.

Here's the funny part, well the part that pertains to this blog, as I was lying on the couch she handed me a little bag of sweet tarts.  She told me I needed to get sugar in my body to calm it down.  I looked at the bag.  Felt awful.  Knew I needed to do something.  But all I could think about was how many points the sweet tarts would be.  So, I decided and shared that I would not be counting the sweet tarts points. :-)

I hope that at least made you smile.  It makes me giggle.

Now, onto the serious portion of the post.  I hope you have made it this far and can continue to read the rest of this post.

I have been thinking a lot about how much this blog has helped keep me on track these past couple months.  Even if no one read this, it would still be a way to make sure that I was writing down my thoughts, good and bad.  It would be a way to keep track of my journey.  Some days are good and some days are awful.  I have written things in this blog that I am not proud of and have written things that I feel embarrassed about.  However, I write them because it keeps me honest.  Writing in this helps me think through how I am feeling.  Since I started this blog, I have had several people write to me via email, on facebook, or respond to a post.  People I haven't heard from in years.  People that I probably would have never shared some of these thoughts with.  People that I didn't know felt the same way that I do or share the feelings that I do

Recently, thinking about sharing my honest thoughts hasn't been just for me anymore.  I think about how much it helps me to read PriorFatGirl and Serina's Blog.  I think about how much it helps me to hear about the ups and downs of others going through the same journey.  So, I've been trying to journal to share my ups and downs with others.  Below I've posted a couple of the emails that I have gotten recently.  When people ask me for help, it also keeps me motivated.  It helps me remember that I am not alone and that I have accomplished a lot.  I haven't included any names and I hope that the people who emailed them to me don't mind that I share.  I appreciate you sending me emails and messages more then you know.  While you might be asking me for inspiration, YOU are my inspiration.  Reminders that we are all in this together and that relying on others is important.

Friend 1:
Hi Emily,

I think that your weight loss journey is amazing! I have been on one of my own but kind of have gone the reverse direction since January. It is actually pretty upsetting. Any tips? I went up 7.5 pounds since January. I've stayed even for the last month but I'd like to be able to go back down again.

Anyway, I'd love some inspiration.
Friend 2: 
Hi Emily, I know this is totally random--I hope you remember me! SO not to be a stalker but I recently came across your blog post on my newsfeed and I started reading a bit. I'm so impressed by you and admire you SO MUCH! I have a lot in common with your experiences, but I'm not nearly as honest with myself. My weight has fluctuated for years. For the past year and a half I've been at a place where I can tolerate (after losing a good bit), but in the past 4 months I've put on like 8 lbs. So frustrating. When I stick to the plan I do really well but recently I haven't been able to commit longer than a week at a time...and when I don't stick to the plan, I don't stick AT ALL. Like, at all. LIke, as I write this I'm eating a cookie ice cream sandwich haha. Anyways, I just wanted to write and just say how great it has been to read about your experiences--It's good to hear that people have very similar struggles. I love weight watchers but i can't find a good meeting and the women there are all old. It's just nice to hear someone has very similar experiences. I need to get back on program ASAP--summer is coming. oy veyyy. 
Friend 3: 
Hey Emily,
Maybe it's creepy, but I just wanted to say hi and tell you that I've been reading your blog and am totally inspired by what you're doing. I know we haevn't talked in so many years, but I thought you should know that I'm totally impressed! Keep up the good work - you look great!!! I hope all is well otherwise, and I know you'll rock your 5K coming up - good luck!

Dear friends who ask for motivation,
Thank you for believing in me.  Thank you for reminding me that we can do this together.  I struggle everyday and I know that having friends and people who share in this journey makes it easier.  Here are some tips that I would suggest for you:
  1. Ask for help
  2. Find people in your life that are positive supporters 
  3. Plan meals 
  4. TRACK your food! 
  5. Figure out how you can celebrate without food 
  6. Don't feel guilty when you go over 
  7. Realize that this is a marathon, not a sprint 
  8. Figure out what motivates you 
  9. Don't be embarrassed to share your journey with others 
  10. Positive self-talk (I do this all the time, Shocking I know!) 
  11. Don't starve yourself-- Ice cream should be a staple in life. :-) 
No matter where you are in your journey, be proud of who you are and what you are doing.  It isn't easy and it's amazing that you are doing anything!  As my friends in WW tell me all the time, remember, YOU ARE WORTH IT! 


Those are my random musings for today.
Happy Hump Day. :-)

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