Thursday, May 29, 2014

It's Been A While... And it's all about me!

Hello Blogging World!!

Man, it's been a while.  I was deep in the swing of health and blogging things when I turned my life upside down.  Long story very short I am now living in a one bedroom apartment and am dating someone new.  It was super sudden and really changed my daily life routines.

And therefore it has been a while.  I was very hesitant to blog in the month after because all that would come out were super emotional posts about trying to eat and working out when my life was in total chaos.  I tried a couple times but as I sat at the computer to type I would cry and then I stopped.  The overall lesson from the last couple months is that it is possible to keep on track and not eat your feelings when life goes awry.  There ARE people out there that are going to help you stay on and be there with you as you try and grasp onto some form of normalcy.  And these things can happen even if you aren't blogging.

HOWEVER-- This past weekend I was at my college reunion at Oberlin College and 7 separate people mentioned reading my blog.  People that I don't keep in contact with except for on Facebook. And it made me really think.  I miss blogging.  I miss sharing my experiences.  I miss having the accountability.  I miss having the extra support... And it really hit me that it isn't just for me... there are other people who are struggling and hearing about my ups and downs has helped... and it meant a lot to hear that people that I haven't spoken to in 6 years were reading this blog and being inspired by it.  So that's it... It's decided... It's time to get back into blogging.

So here we are.  A much different overall life pace and plan than I started out the year with but ready to kick some major butt!

Let me start the meat of this post by saying I am happy.  I am very, very happy and in a really good mental place.  This is important.  And being aware of it has been very important in understanding my motivations and drive for staying healthy.  Right now... IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!  Selfish as it sounds... I have to get myself in order.  I need to be healthy and happy FOR ME.  Not for anyone else.  This giant, very simple understand has been HUGE.  And it's very important to my summer in NYC.

But let me back up for a second so I can catch you up on the current happenings.  I am presently in NYC.  I left my brand new one bedroom apartment in Minnesota (which is waiting for me when I come home) to come to NYC for the summer to finish my masters.  One more summer and I am DONE!  Woo hoo!  So, here I am.  Spending my summer in NYC!  It's pretty fantastic and I am excited to be here.  But also a bit terrified...

I was here a couple summers ago.  Summer 2012 I went into with a major plan to stay on track and lose weight while I was here.  It didn't happen.  In fact, I gained weight.

June 2012-- 168.8 pounds 
August 2012-- 177.2 pounds 

Then last summer I said f*it all together and just ate whatever while I was in Europe (I feel like that was ok, I mean I was living in Europe.  How often does that happen?).  But the end result was the biggest I had been since 2011.  EEESSSHHHH...

June 2013-- 182.2 pounds 
August 2013-- 192.8 pounds 

I spent this past year losing all of the weight that I had gained last summer and then some.  It was not easy work and now here we are.  Starting Summer 2014 and I am DETERMINED not to gain weight this summer.

May 2014-- 176.4 pounds
August 2014-- ?????

I KNOW that I am not going to gain weight.  It's too important to this new idea that it's ALL ABOUT ME!

I want to be healthy.
I want to be in a place where eating better is routine not just work.
I want to continue building my relationship where working out and being healthy is part of who we are.
I want to continue to be happy.

I am SO happy.  Happier than I have been in 10 years probably. And because of this I feel like life is my oyster and there are endless possibilities.  And I this feeling that anything is possible includes getting myself in shape.  It is MORE THAN POSSIBLE.

I worked so hard this year to get where I am.  And although I am not the lowest weight I have been, I think I am actually in the best shape I have been in since high school.

I feel GREAT.  And because of that, I am doing what I need to stay on!  I joined a gym here, am tracking all my food and exercise, and have accountability people in Minnesota who are checking in on me.


Cheesy as it sounds-- this is my only life and I am going to make sure I am always doing what I need to in order to get the most out of it.  Right now it's all about ME!

So be ready for more posts.  There is one coming about the gym I joined soon.

But for now, make today about YOU... be excited that today is Thursday.  A day where you can do whatever you want. And make sure you are getting out of it what you need.  Because ultimately that's what life is about.  Be happy. <3