Wednesday, March 27, 2013

No More Sucking In

Hello all!

Last time we spoke I was on a good path... a path of success and loss... While I am still bound and determined to be in the 160s before summer, there have been some minor setbacks.  I am on track for my Couch To 5k (C25K).  A couple days behind, but more or less on track.  I have been working out at least 5 days a week.  And I have been eating gluten free.

But, I have not been losing.  I have not been tracking.  And I have not been making good choices.  I am currently on a two-week physical therapy stint in Rochester, MN.  All is well!  I am perfectly fine.  We are just fixing some things that should have been fixed long ago.  It is difficult to make awesome choices when you are living a hotel.  It is difficult to make awesome choices when you end the day exhausted.  I feel like I give a thousand excuses why I can eat whatever I want.  But, clearly, I am not going to lose that way.

Yesterday my physical therapist told me some distressing news.  I am not longer allowed to suck in.  EVER.  It's adding to the stress on my body.  When I got home from the appointment I looked in the mirror at my gut hanging out... Feel slightly depressed and frustrated I had the realization that I need to have that be part of this long-term health goal.  To get to point where I feel like I can stand normally and not need to suck in.  Tonight is my night off from the gym.  Tomorrow is more zumba and running.  Friday is Body Pump.  Saturday and Sunday running. :-)  I am SO on it!

This WILL happen.  Here's to two weeks of living in a hotel and making good (not amazing, but not bad) choices!

Happy Wednesday! :-)

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

A New, Longer Post Coming Soon

I haven't forgotten to post this week... Between a fundraiser, report cards, and my three year anniversary, life has gotten in the way.  I will post a longer thought-provoking post... but until then.. something to smile about...

Last week's loss: 1.6 pounds
This week's loss: 2.0 pounds

I have 4.3 left to lose by March 29 for Dietbet... and 8 to lost before I am back in the 160s... :-)  I can do it!  I can do it!  I can do it!

Thursday, March 7, 2013

The Girl in the Mirror

When I was little I had a CD with my name on the front and all the songs had MY name in them. You know, one of those personalized CDs where the name is slightly robotic, but is oh-so-exciting for a kid.  I remember LOVING the tape as a kid.  And for Christmas this year my mother gave me the CD version.  It was a lovely surprise.

This morning, I actually spent some time googling the lyrics to the song and while on my quest for lyrics discovered that there are a lot of other people in this world who were deeply affected by the music and were trying to find the tapes to have as a childhood memory (or to buy for their kids). :-)

I digress.  On the CD there is a song called "Girl in the Mirror".  Below are the lyrics to the song...

"Who's that girl in the mirror?  Who's that girl?
Who's that happy, smiling EMILY, who's that girl?
(cheesy kid lyrics about growing up to be like a family member)
Look at your eyes, look at your ears, sit around for a while,
The person staring back at you is sure to make you smile.
When you let your mind discover, when you let your thoughts run free,
You can be whoever you decide to be.
When you look into the mirror, who do you see?
All the endless possibilities you can be.
(more cheesy ideas of who I could be)

Who's that girl in the mirror?  Who's that girl?
Who's that happy, smiling EMILY, who's that girl?
Who's that girl in the mirror, tell me who!
It's that happy, smiling EMILY.
Why, it's YOU!"

When I was little that song held a completely different meaning that it does for me now.  Would I be a vet, broadway star, lawyer, teacher, waitress... And while I am still struggling on that same journey (does anyone ever REALLY know what they want to be when they grow up), this song now means something completely different.

The thought came to me as I was running at the Maplewood Community Center yesterday.  As you run around the track, you pass a series of mirrors.  I used to hate running by the mirrors because when I looked into them all I could see were my imperfections, the pieces of my body that I hate, and the slow, out of shape runner.  Yesterday, as I rounded the corner, all of a sudden it hit me.  Through Paralyzer, which was blasting into my ears, all of a sudden all I could hear was this song from my childhood.  And I couldn't help but smile.  I mean, after all, the song states, the happy, smiling EMILY!

Through the pain, the exhaustion, and the extreme hate for exercising (and running!) I felt invigorated.  When you look into the mirror, who do you see?  All the endless possibilities you can be.  And as I continued to run I thought about the 213 pound EMILY, who would never have dreamed of the possibility that I would ever be in size 8-10 pants again.  And I thought about the 180 pound EMILY (that's me now, in case that was unclear), who is working her butt off to get to where she wants to be and the possibilities of what could be.  From that moment on, every time I passed the mirror I stared into it and thought of who could eventually be staring back.  This thought kept me running.  This thought kept me going.  This thought is still rattling around in my head today.  All the endless possibilities you can be... 

So today, I will eat, exercise and live with that thought in my mind.  And truthfully, whatever the possibility, whoever I choose to be, whatever my goal, where ever I am on the journey, I need to try and never forget one of the most important lines of the song... Who's that girl in the mirror, tell me who!  It's that happy, smiling EMILY.  Why, it's YOU...

In the next couple days, I hope that as you look in the mirror this song and sentiment will cross your mind... and that whoever you see will be smiling back at you.  I know mine will be.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Back On Track

Good Morning My Bloggin' Friends!

I am proud to say that I am feeling like I am getting back on track.  And I am more than proud of myself for my accomplishments this past week... Here is what I have to celebrate about...

1) 1.5 pounds lost!
2) Working out 6 days... YES 6 days out of 7 last week!!!  And as Peg pointed out, I am not just lightly working out, I am kicking my own butt during workouts!
3) I completed C25K Week 1 and did Week 2 Day 1 with SOME ease (although I thought I was going to die when I finished).
4) I found some new delicious gluten-free food.

So, I am proud to say that I weighed in at 180.6.  While I am still not amused to be SO above 160, I am PROUD that I am going in the right directions.  And I and 1/7 the way to being a winner for the DietBet.

This is it... The time is now... AND I have all my workouts planned this week.  6 out of 7 again!  Who knew I would become a working out machine?!?! Certainly not me.

Before I leave for Europe I will be as close to 150 as possible.  I know I can do it!!

And before I sign off for the day... a special shout out to Chloe, who I know will make me continue to blog.  Your energy seriously helps me keep going. :-)

Happy Wednesday all!

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Remember the time...

Remember the time that I was in my 150s and it was amazing... and then remember the time that I gained 25 pounds back and was at 180 again?!?!?!?!?! Oh right... that is right now.

A wise person pointed out to me tonight that I haven't blogged in a long time.  And she is totally correct.  I am embarrassed of where I am.  I am embarrassed of how much I have fallen off the wagon... And I am embarrassed that my clothes don't fit.  I have been eating like crap and sitting on my butt and it shows in my body...

So wah wah wah wah... There goes my complaining and now I am done... Because it does me NO good to whine... It does me no good to wallow.  And luckily, since Wednesday, I really started to DO SOMETHING about it...

There are a couple of steps I am taking to ensure that I get back on track... 

  1. Start blogging again.  It really does help me. 
  2. Run a 5k.  I have four 5ks in my calendar.  I WILL be running in all four of them!  Thanks to a very dear friend of mine who is training with me... She got this lazy girl off of her butt.  We are doing the Couch to 5k (C25K) training plan)
  3. Meet with Courtney AT LEAST once a week.  We have training sessions and other classes planned that I WILL go to and WILL work my hardest in! 
  4. Be BETTER with my eating.  I didn't say be perfect or be amazing... but I do want to be better.  Especially because recently I learned I have to go gluten free.  I am re-learning how to eat and I want to be aware of how much I am eating and the points (not just gluten or not). 
  5. Get back on track NO MATTER WHAT.  There are times that I will fall off.  It happens.  But what I need to be better at is getting BACK ON TRACK!  Not just saying, "Oh f* it." 
  6. Participate in the PriorFatGirl Dietbet.  By March 30, I need to have lost 7.34 pounds.  It's part of a large online diet bet.  We all pooled money and if you win you and whoever else achieves their goal splits the money.  The pot is $7,820.  There are over 700 of us in on the bet.  I WILL be one of the people that achieves my goal!
 In the spirit of being open and honest (no matter how embarrassed I am)... I am going to post my weigh-ins each week... Because I want more than anything to be at my goal weigh of 145 and even more attainable is just to be back in the 160s.  Therefore I will post my weigh-ins and weekly workout and food plans here to help keep me accountable.

This past week: 

Tuesday- C25K Week 1, Workout 1 AND personal training
Wednesday- no workout
Thursday-  C25K Week 1, Workout 2
Friday- Body Pump Class
Saturday- Dance Class
Tomorrow-  C25K Week 1, Workout 3

Next week: 
Monday- C25K Week 2, Workout 1
Tuesday- Momentum Class
Wednesday- C25K Week 2, Workout 2
Thursday- Off
Friday- Body Pump Class
Saturday- Dance Class
Sunday- C25K Week 2, Workout 3

I can do this... I can do this... I can do this...

So, be aware... the next post I post will state "remember the time I got back on the wagon and kicked serious rear.. oh wait, that is now!"

Wish me luck.  (and send me facebook, email, text messages if I don't write a new blog entry).

It's time to go from this:

Back to this: