Sunday, January 15, 2012

Quick Before and After Shot

I am going to be writing a longer entry tomorrow... But for now... Here's a quick before and after shot.

February 2010 and January 2012

Saturday, January 7, 2012

There IS Only One Emily

Let me start by saying... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! It's 2012!!! And it's been over a month since I blogged.

And I have to be honest, I have been avoiding my blog.  Avoiding it like the plaque.  And truthfully, I have no reason.  I have had plenty of time.  I got a new Ipad with the blogger app.  Exciting things have happened, but I haven't blogged.  I wish I could say that my computer broke and that electricity all over the state of Minnesota went out and so I couldn't blog, but that isn't the truth.  And I feel guilty about it.  Partly because I know there are people that want to read my blog, partly because I want to be a consistent and thoughtful blogger, but mostly because it means that for almost a month I have been making excuses and not being accountable to myself.

The interesting part of all of this, is that right before break I hit a HUGE milestone!!!! I hit my 150s.  The 150s are not numbers I have seen since my Sophomore year of high school.  So hurray for that.. However...

This would be even more exciting if I hadn't fallen COMPLETELY off the wagon RIGHT afterwards.  Eating like a pig.  All of my old habits came back full force.  Drinking chai teas, white mochas... Eating 5 meals a day, each with multiple desserts... And now I am back up 7 pounds.  Almost above the 50 pounds lost mark.  And it occurred to me.  I am not a NEW Emily.  I am the SAME Emily.  I want the same food.  I don't want to work out AT all.  I struggle with saying NO to food.  Talking about a NEW Emily and an OLD Emily makes me feel like when I want to eat whatever I want, I can just pretend that I am the OLD Emily.  But that's not true.  I CAN'T do that.  And when I do, my results aren't in the negative direction.  

So, yesterday I started the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred... It was unpleasant when I did it and my body has been very sore today, but it felt good to be back on the wagon.  I was on a good eating path today.  I was within my points, I ate salad, twice... I ate fruit, veggies... 

AND THEN I ate a muffin and lots of cereal... And I went over... And I felt sad. 

So, I did Jillian again AND zumba.  And then I realized that EMILY can do whatever she wants!!  All I have to do is focus on the positive.  

I am hoping that tomorrow I can do better.  I am going to take it one day at a time and reach out when I need help.  

My promise to you, my blogging community, is that this week I will check in again.  BEFORE next weekend.  And if I don't, you can send me some sassy mail... :-)  I am going to get back on the wagon. I am going to hit 145 by this time next year (hopefully sooner).  That is my New Year's resolution.  I will accept that I will always be Emily.  And that all I can work on in changing my choices.  Additionally, if I have a bad day or a bad week, I am not going to try not to get depressed or mopey.  I am going to try and find the positives and be proud of my accomplishment.  So, I will leave you with a picture series that I took after my workout.  It speaks to the last couple weeks and what is to come. 

I was in the 150s! 

There was food everywhere and I struggled to say no. 
And then I was feeling FAT. 

And I got on the scale and it was NOT good. 

And then I was sad about my weight gain.

But then I decided that being depressed is not going to help me get back on track. 

I am ready to kick some MAJOR butt!