Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Low Point Taco Dinner

 I had a delicious 6 point dinner the other night.  Delicious.

4 points for the meat!
2 points for the cheese!
That's all! :-)


Almost A Week

Hello there friends!

Sorry that it has been ALMOST A WEEK!  Eeshhhhhhhhhh.  But, this has been a good week.  Last week on Tuesday I made some new goals with my friend Shelby.  We were both feeling kind of in the dumps and decided that we really needed to get IT TOGETHER! :-)  It was VERY successful...

These goals were:
2) Email Shelby and Meg every day with my food
3) Follow my workout plan
4) Blog 4x (didn't make that one)
5) Purchase step counter (didn't do that one either)

I was SUPER successful tracking!!  I felt VERY VERY VERY GOOD ABOUT IT!!!!  I emailed Meg and Shelby EVERY day! :-)  I worked out every day.  So, what do you think?  How'd I do...

I lost 3.4 pounds this week!
I worked out 6 days a week!
I found out that I LOVE ZUMBA!!!
I made REALLY good choices when I went out to eat (I put 1/2 of a calzone in the box right away)
I made good choices during school in-service today!
I got a callback because I was feeling really confident!



Stay tuned for more on this one soon....

Thursday, August 18, 2011

I Really Want To Snack...

But instead I am blogging.  Right now I am having one of those moments.  You may have had one of these before, or perhaps not.  I have these moments a lot.  They are one of my biggest downfalls.  And I truly mean one of my biggest downfalls.  It's embarrassing to admit that I can obsess about food.  Not just kind of obsess, but have my mind completely consumed with the thought of food.  COMPLETELY consumed with the thought of food.  It's like I cannot think about anything else, at all.  When I was working my desk job, sometimes the thought of what I was going to eat for lunch was all that got me through the day.  Sometimes, as I have learned, my thoughts about food are entirely unhealthy.

The other night when I went out to dinner with my friend Shelby.  We talked about our goals and eating.  We also talked about challenges.  I started to tell her about my negative relationship with food, which I know I have mentioned on the blog before.  I really struggle with this relationship.

Since our conversation I have really been thinking a lot about this negative relationship.  Back in high school I had an eating disorder.  It's not something that I talk about a whole lot.  It's embarrassing.  People make judgements about you.  And also, it contributed to my current size.  It was a part of my journey in life, and ultimately has also made me who I am today.  However, I don't like to relive it because it was a hard time for me and when I look back on those photos I realize how unhealthy my choices were.

Now, I do not struggle with the eating disorder I had back in high school, thank goodness.  However, clearly, I still have a hard time with food.  Right now is the PERFECT example.  I am not hungry.  Not in the slightest.  In fact, I am already WAY over my points.  I used 14 flex points today.  Regardless, I am not hungry.  Despite this, all my mind can think about at the moment is Lucky Charms.  Delicious Lucky Charms with skim milk and a banana.
Image via Flickr, At The End Of The Rainbow, by Kate Shepard
Yup.  Those little marshmallows combined with the delicious cheerio like pieces, floating in milk.  I hope that if you have made it this far that you aren't thinking I am a total freak.  Because truthfully, I sometimes think that about myself.  Who gets so fixated on food that they can't do anything else? Apparently, I do.  And, as I was telling Shelby, when I get this fixation I make up all sorts of crazy illogical excuses about why it's ok to have that food.  I can make up all kinds of crazy reasons that justify my eating that food.  However, they are really just THAT... excuses.

I don't need Lucky Charms right now.  I shouldn't have them.  And tomorrow, I will be more glad that I didn't eat them than if I had eaten them.  Yes, I can say these things to you with complete confidence because that it makes it a bit easier. AND, I know that if I do eat it, I will also feel super guilty later.  Again, unhealthy.  So, instead, I am blogging.  Hoping that I can get over these thoughts about the Lucky Charms.

So, there you have it.  Another one of my blog posts that is hard for me to admit, but is ultimately helping me in my journey.  And that's really what this blog is all about.  In the time that it has taken me to write this post, I have gotten sleepy enough that I can brush my teeth and go to bed.  WITHOUT eating!!! Willpower baby!

I hope that some of you can relate to my story.  Or have had one of these moments before.  Any suggestions about what you do to get past cravings or thoughts about food.... I would love them!

Happy ALMOST Friday! :-)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

My New Frenemy!

Day 4 of my new personal training and I have made a new frenemy.

No, I am not talking about my personal trainer!  She is FANTASTIC!  Seriously.  Fantastic.  EVERYONE should get a personal trainer as WONDERFUL.  We laugh, she pushes and forces me to challenge myself, but she is also very positive and uplifting.  Today she told me that she likes my personality and that I make her want to high five!  Life accomplishment of willing people to high five without even knowing I was doing it or that I wanted to do it, check! :-)  I don't LIKE working out, but she makes it sort of bearable.  She is also super positive about my weight loss and the ups and downs.  I feel lucky to have found her and I know that she will keep supporting me through this life journey.

Now, onto my frenemy.  I love/hate the KETTLEBELL.  There is more hate there than love.  I have to whip it in the air, use my hips, and thrust, to make it swing.  I start with both hands and then I do it one hand at a time.  I also have to do lunges with the kettlebell in my hand.  And I have to do cruches with the kettlebell on my chest.  I LITERALLY hate it more than itself.  Every time I swing, I just want to swing it out the window and then LEAVE IT THERE!!!  Apparently, at some point I am going to love how it makes me feel.  At this moment, I am not quite there.  I hate it.  :-)  So, for now, it will remain my frenemy.

Me, post-workout!

Soon to come, my meeting with Jen!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Many Different Thoughts

Feeling Disappointed
I am feeling so disappointed in myself at the moment.  This is the part of this process that I feel that I have not mastered yet.  I haven't figured out how to be mentally in a healthy place with this lifestyle.  I am not mentally able to deal with snags in the road.  I have such a negative relationship with food and I haven't figured out how to get myself in a good place even when I make mistakes. 

This weekend was a perfect example.  I did not do as well as I had hoped.  I gained back the pound I lost and I just can't feel ok with it.  Not that I should feel happy about it, but I can't stop feeling TERRIBLE about it.  Not just frustrated, but TERRIBLE.  I just feel defeated and sad about my ability to do this.  I am angry at myself for my choices this weekend.  First of all, I should have spent more time mentally preparing myself for a change in my routine.  This is when I have the hardest time.  I can't seem to make as great of choices.  Secondly, I can't seem to get myself back on track and stop feeling badly about my choices. 

I KNOW that this is not healthy for me.  I KNOW that this can't be how I think about this process.  I KNOW that this is not the right mindset for really making a life change.  I KNOW that this is not going to help me keep this mindset change. 

I also feel guilty and terrible for not going to the gym today.  I was supposed to go.  I should have gone.  But I didn't. 

I know I should be thinking about solutions to my problems and focusing on my successes, but I can't seem to get myself there.  BAH.  This may all be too much and it may seem like whining.  But I can't imagine that I am not the only one who has felt this way.  I can't imagine I am the only one who has felt defeated.

So, I guess there is that.  Not sure what the outcome of this post is, but it's truthfully on my mind and something that is stressing me out.

Post-It Notes 
This week I am going to put post-it notes all around the house with the number 145 on them!!! That's my goal and I think it should be EVERY where in the house! :-)  EVERYWHERE!!  I am also going to put it in my calendars and on my desk!  I am going to get there and I will have REMINDERS everywhere!!!!

Upcoming Weeks 
The upcoming weeks are going to be a challenge for me.  I can't seem to get my mindset correct and I am starting to really get on a schedule for working out.  And getting ready for school.  And going to workshops!  On Tuesday I am going to dinner with my friend Shelby and I am hoping she is going to help me make a plan for how I can through this all.  And not just get through it, but get to a better mental state.

So this might not have been the most coherent or uplifting post, but I guess that is what this blog is for.  To tell the truth and talk about things that I sometimes don't want to admit out loud.

That's all for now.  More later.

Happy Sunday!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Day My Run Turned Into A Glee Episode

I am supposed to be getting ready to go to the airport in 30 minutes.  But I HAD to share my morning workout with all of you.  This is especially for those of you who know me.  This won't surprise you one bit.

My personal trainer has me on a 6 day a week plan.  6 days of the week I have to workout.  Blech.  I am trying to change my mindsets like I learned and be excited and understand that what I am doing is good for me, but man is that hard.  So, I am struggling.  Well, this morning I was supposed to run 2 miles.  I started off great!  I walked my 5 minute warm-up and then was jogging.

At some point while I was jogging around the lake I started to feel defeated.  I started to feel frustrated.  My inner dialogue went as such, "It's such a beautiful day, why can't I enjoy this run?!? I have done WAY better than this before.  I can do this, I can do this.  I don't want to do this.  This would be way more fun if it were on TV.  This would be the perfect day for a Glee episode.  People would be singing and dancing... Actually,  this would be a GREAT set for Glee.  It's beautiful.  There's a lake.  There are good camera angles.  And there is an especially good road to dance on.  YES!  This is a great dancing road.  Wait.  Why am I not dancing?  I have music in my ears.  There are very few people around.  My heart rate will stay up..."

And with that, I began to dance my way around the rest of the lake.  I did all the different routines you do across the floor in dance class.  I did some skipping.  I did some kickboxing punches.  I did some Zumba moves.  And I definitely gave the other people around the lake something to see.  But you know what?

It was the most fun I have had EVER working out.  Not only that, but I burned over 300 calories which was my target for today.  It was a good way to start the day and...

Mr. Schue would have been proud!!!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

There Is No Finish Line (Part II of my Amazing Saturday) and Other Things

Sorry that it has been a couple of days.  I have been trying to get ready for school (the kiddos descend upon my classroom in less than a month!), help out with Teach For America events, workout, clean the house, and be at several family events.  I have been much busier than I would like.  And therefore I have not been blogging as much as I would prefer.

Since I have not gotten to write as much as I would like, this post is going to be pretty long.  It is divided into sections though so it's easier to understand.  And also, if there are things you don't want to read you can just skip them.  I am also going to include pictures at the end of food choices that I have been making! :-)  Yay!  So with out any more delay, Emily's thoughts from the past couple days...

From Saturday 
In the last post, I wrote about Mary from Fit This, Girl!  She wasn't the only person doing the inspiring.  Jen, the blogger I talk about a lot who writes Prior Fat Girl spoke next.  She talked a lot about relationships and how this journey can really ruin relationships.  And not just significant others.  This was something that I had never thought about.  She said,
"To change you is to change your the relationship." 
And she is right.  By making this change, I have changed who I am and what I do.  I have changed my priorities and how I live my life.  And what I realized is that I am lucky to have just made this realization.  I have AMAZING people in my life who support and accommodate and  cheer me along.  I never knew that relationships could go wrong because the people in my life are so incredible.  They change restaurants for me without asking, they bring different snacks to team meetings (YAY Team 3/4!!), they buy different things at the grocery story, and give me high fives when I go running.  I didn't realize that not everyone has that in their life.  I feel very fortunate.  Jen talked about not making people accommodate for you because it is YOUR life that you are changing and not theirs.  Again, for the most part (I am sure there are times that I have been a pain), the people in my life have done this without me asking.

I listened to Jen speak and the longer she talked, the luckier I felt.  I need to stop whining and feeling blue because I have people in my life that will run this never-ending race with me and be on the sidelines as long as it takes.

So, if this is YOU, someone who has been there next to me, THANK YOU! :-)

Ok... so enough with the sappy. Kris also has a great entry about the day.  It has more takeaways embedded in it.  Click to read it:

Jen's talk was very inspiring.  There was something she said that I don't think she even meant as something inspiring, and yet, I wrote it down in big letters and have thought about it a lot.
"I used to be a yes girl."
THAT'S ME!!!  I AM a yes girl!!  I say yes to food and over commit myself because I have a hard time saying no.  I say yes sometimes when I should say no.  "Do I need that piece of pizza?"  Yes... Wrong! No!  I don't!  I don't think she even said the sentence in the context of food, but it really resonated with me.  She said, "I USED to be a yes girl."  USED to!  Not anymore, which means that I can get there too!  I can get to the point where I can say, "I USED to be a yes girl!"

Meeting Jen in person was really an amazing thing for me.  I was meeting one of the biggest inspirations that has kept me going throughout this journey.  And she really is the nicest person.  I like her blog because it is real.  Everyday isn't sunshine for her.  This is a journey and I like that when I read her blog, I get ideas but also understand that this is challenging for everyone.  I am looking forward to getting to work with her and going to future events.

So, that was the Saturday.  Not as short-winded as I had intended.  But the day had a huge impact on me and helped me make HEALTHY decisions when I went out to eat with the family that night.  And when we had our huge BBQ on Saturday.  Seeing all the women in the room and hearing the speakers was inspiring for me in a way that I can't describe in the blog.  It showed me that I am not alone and I should never feel that I am!

Personal Training 
There was an hour on Monday that I thought I was going to die.  As anyone who knows me know, I have a flair for the dramatic, but seriously, personal training might kill me.  "That's what she is supposed to do," has been EVERYONE'S response when I whine about how much my body hurts and that Monday I almost died.

Perhaps I should back up a bit.  At the end of last year, I made a commitment to myself that when this semester started I would get a personal trainer.  This thought was fueled by the idea that I am not getting to where I want fast enough.  I am not challenging and pushing myself.  And as soon as the 5K was over, I stopped running...!!  WHAT?!  Seriously!  "There is no finish line!"  I can't just stop working out because I am done with a race.  This is a life journey, Emily!  Hello!  So, yes!  I got a personal trainer as soon as I got back from Chicago.

Ok.  So, I am pumped and all, really I am.  But, in my head, when I planned to get a personal trainer, all I thought of was how AWESOME I would look after it was all done.  I dunno what my brain was thinking!  That the trainer would tap me with some wand and I would look like Jessica Alba (yes, that's for you JD).  HOLY BUCKETS.  I actually thought I might die on the floor of the Maplewood Community Center.

We started with the row machine and then some crazy machine called the Krank.  I felt oober cliche because after we finished with those 2 she said, "Alright, great warm up!" and I said, "WHAT?!  That was the warm up?"  But really?  That was the warm up?!?!?  You don't need to know all the rest of the details.  I will just tell you that at one point my feet were in stirrups (TRX, if you know it) and my hands were on the floor and I was doing planks.  My mother, who was at the gym with me on this day, said it was one of the funniest things she has ever seen.  And I am sure she is correct.  I was telling Lori, my personal trainer, that a) I hated her and b) it was her fault if I died.  Again, I know... flair for the dramatic.  But, I know she is for me because we joked about it together and she said she knew I would hate her eventually.

Do I actually hate her?  Obviously not.  Do I hate her exercise plan?  Absolutely yes.  I am trying to get to the point that I love exercise, but at the moment I am just not there.  Every time I work out I want to punch the person next to me and say, "TAKE THAT IF YOU LIKE PAIN SO MUCH!" (the pain I am referring to is the pain from sore muscles... in case you didn't get that).

Again, flair for the dramatic, but hopefully a smile came across your face at one point during this super long rant.

I had intended to write more in this entry, but it's getting late and I need sleep... so be excited that you have the following topics to look forward to reading tomorrow:

  • Post-It Notes 
  • Workout Routine 
  • Tonight's Weigh-In Result 
  • Random Thoughts

For now, I will leave you with pics of food... That's all for now.

Food Pics
Homemade Chicken, bean salad, and veggies!

Fancy, expensive dinner!  I asked for the chicken with NO sauce and left most of the rice. 

Yogurt, grapes, and 1/2 cup of fruit loops.  5 points, so delicious. 

Family BBQ.  Lots of veggies and a hot dog! 

Salad from Tavern on Green.  INCREDIBLE! 

Finished up my first run in a while and came home and ate some watermelon! 

Sunday, August 7, 2011

There Is No Finish Line (Part I of my AMAZING Saturday)

Yesterday's Priorfatgirl event could not have come at a better time.  It's my first week back on Weight Watchers and my first week back having healthier mindsets.  This week also happens to be one of those summer weeks.  You know which ones I am talking about.  The kind where there are several fun events to go to, each with more food than the last.  Yup.  This is one of those weeks.  It would have been really easy for me (especially the way that my mindsets have been this summer) to say "Meh, next week sounds good."  But then I think about two things:
  1. This ISN'T a diet!  It's a lifestyle. 
  2. I tell my students NO EXCUSES, so why can I make them? 
So, a change of mindset it has been.  You might be thinking at this point, "Emily, you are talking a lot about mindsets today.  What's up with that?"  Well, this is where I get into talking about yesterday and the fantastic takeaways from the day!

As I was saying back when I started this post, yesterday could not have come at a better time.  I signed up for the event even though I knew that I wouldn't be able to go to the afternoon session because of family commitments.  But I really wanted to go to the morning session.  I didn't really know what to expect.  I knew that I was excited and ready to learn, but what I didn't realize was that I was going to be walking into a community of people, many who already know each other, that are like me.  A support group of people that I really hope I get to know better as this year progresses.

I walked into a room to hear people talking about their weight loss, websites, exercising, food, and their journey and struggles.  I am sure people in my life are so sick of hearing about these things from me.  But our journeys, what we are doing with our lives, this was what everyone in the room had in common.  Trying to lead a healthier existence.  It made me teary to think that there are so many people out there that can relate to my journey.  People that are farther along or just beginning, but regardless it doesn't matter, because the common denominator is our want for a different lifestyle.

I introduced myself to Jen, which was also very exciting for me.  It's exciting to meet someone who's blog your read. (side note: I kept seeing faces yesterday that I recognized from blogs that I read.  I thought that was pretty awesome too).  She asked me if I knew anybody and after telling her that I knew not a soul, she called over to Kris.  Kris shared part of her story with me.  She has lost over 180 pounds!  I was BLOWN AWAY.  She was also just a kind and funny person.  We talked a bit about gaming and a lot about weight loss.  She also made me feel right at home in a room of people that looked pretty familiar.  She gave me her card and shared that there is a twitter community that supports each other.  At the break I started following her on twitter so I could be sure that I find new ways to stay connected.  I didn't even really realize how much I have been missing in the Twin Cities as far as weight loss communities go.  Looking through blogs on Kris's website, I have found all different kinds of opportunities and people that are right here.  If you haven't already, I would check out Kris's blog and others that I listed on the new "Inspirational Blog" page.

As the morning continued, I kept writing down things that I wanted to share on the blog.  Inspiration quotes or thoughts that spoke to me.  I wish that I could just have recorded and posted both sessions because there was SO much to take away from them.

Mary from started the morning.  She was awesome to hear speak.  She was very very honest in what she said and sharing her story.  She used to heavier, a smoker, a drinker, and someone who wasn't very healthy.  She talked about her transformation and how it took time to get where she is now.  She was very inspiring and is CLEARLY living proof of what you can do if you put your mind to it.  She talked about consistency in what we are doing and how we are staying healthy.  Here are some of my big takeaways from her session:
  • Focus on SPECIFIC goals.  When you set your GPS, you don't set it for Anywhere, USA do you?  No, you type in a specific location and have a route to get there. 
  • Focus on the solution.  Be solutions-oriented and don't just focus on the problem.  Is there a candy bowl on your walk on the way to the bathroom?  Instead of focusing on the fact that it's there, come up with a solution. 
  • There are strength in numbers.  Instead of being jealous and envious of the people who have achieved what you want to achieve, look at them as mentors, connect with them.  What good does it do to be jealous?  Surround yourself with like-minded people and the journey may be easier.
  • Change your mindsets.  Your mindset is exactly that, something that you are setting your mind to.  You decide what your truth is and make sure that your reality matches the truth that you have set for yourself.
  • Get rid of negative and neutral talk.  Instead of TRYING, DO it!  Just like I tell my students, I CAN'T is poisonous.  If you say you can't do something, you won't. 
  • Be consistent in your movement, your food, and your mind.  
  • Do new things!  Do new weight-training, cardio, and heart rate training workouts!  Did you know that weight-training is actually better for you than just doing cardio.  When you are done running, you stop burning calories, however, if you increase your muscle, when you are resting, you are still burning calories.  (I think I simplified that quite a bit, but it was a HUGE A-ha! moment for me!)
The more she spoke, the more invested I was in her ideas.  What she was saying REALLY made sense to me.

I want to keep writing, I haven't even gotten to Jen's portion of the day or the food photos I took, however, I have to get ready for the next family function so I am off for now.  I am going to leave you with my three favorite quotes from Mary's presentation...
"There is no finish line." -Nike (I will talk more about this later because this has REALLY stuck with me.)
 "When someone before you has done it, anyone can do it." -Mary (from FitThisGirl)
"I know for sure that what we dwell on it what we become." -Oprah Winfrey

Saturday, August 6, 2011

New Blog Apperance and Exciting News!!

TA DA!! 

What do you all think of the blog makeover? :-)  After going to an amazing morning of workshops hosted and put on by Jen from Prior Fat Girl, I decided that my blog could use a facelift!  So, I came home and spent some time making sure that the blog looks a little bit nicer.  I hope you all like it.

Now, the exciting news that you have all been waiting for...

This upcoming year I am going to be mentored in the art of blogging by the inspirational, motivational, and honest Jen from Prior Fat Girl!!!  We will be meeting next week to discuss more of the details!  However, I am hoping that I will learn more about what makes a good blogger, how she got involved in the community, what her blogging process looks like, and how I can become a stronger blogger.  I cannot think of something better to keep me motivated than getting to work with one of my biggest sources of inspiration!  I AM SUPER SUPER EXCITED!!!! 

Jen and me at the PriorFatGirl event this morning

That's all for now.  Tomorrow I will blog more about the event from today! :-) 

Happy Saturday!!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Back on Track Day 2!!

Today was my second day being back on track!  I am very proud of myself and how it went!!!

8 Point Breakfast!  Delicious FIBER ONE pancakes!

Lunch of chicken sausage, string cheese, and vegetables. 10 points!

This is what I brought home!! This is what I didn't eat!!!  I had a lot of WILLPOWER!!!  GO ME!!!
My friend Madaline and I having dinner at P.F. Changs

Tonight was a true test of my will.  We went to P.F. Changs.  A restaurant where I really could order anything off the menu and eat it ALL!  It's SO DELICIOUS!!!!

However, tonight from P.F. Changs I ordered:
Lettuce Wraps (1/2 of the serving): 8 points
Orange Shrimp (1/3 of the serving): 6 points
Rice (1/2 cup): 3 points

I originally had miscalculated the points for the Orange Shrimp and did not realize that there were 3 serving sizes.  As I was eating it, I had a strong feeling that I was wrong in my original calculation that they were only 6 points for the whole meal.  The sauce just didn't feel like 6 points.  So, I recalculated the points and realized that the meal was actually 18 points.  Here is where the willpower comes in!  Instead of continuing to eat all 18 points, I only had 1/3 of the plate and 1/2 of the rice.  WILLPOWER FOR REAL!!! All I wanted was to eat the WHOLE plate.  However, I took a moment to see if I was full and guess what?  I was!  I was full!  I realized that I didn't have to eat it all!

Day two.  A success.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Back on Track Day 1!

Last night JD and I went to the grocery store after my weigh-in.  It was as I expected.  I have gained 10 pounds since I was at my lowest 161.8.  I am now 171.8!  That's ok though.  I knew it was coming.  So, anyways, last night I went grocery shopping.  I got many many good fruits and vegetables.  This week I am getting myself back on track.  Back to a healthier lifestyle.

Here is how my day started:
8 point breakfast!

My tracking!  I wrote everything down!

In a couple hours I am going to go to Zumba and start exercising again! :-)

I can do this!


Zumba Class was full! :-(  But, I do have an appointment with the personal trainer on Friday! Yay!

Also, below are my lunch and dinner from today!  I have to have dinner on the go, but no junk food for me!
My delicious lunch! Which was followed by a 4 point ice bream bar!

Dinner on the go!  No fast food here!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Weigh In Tonight and Many Other Random Musings

PREGNANT (No, I'm not!)
I want to start off this post with a memory that is seared in my brain.  Although many thoughtless people had conversations like this one with me, this one is the one that really stays. 
A conversation from April 2009 (exact wording may be changed, not on purpose, but because of my memory). Setting: Target in Chicago, me holding the 2 year-old child that I was a nanny for.
Check-Out Man: Good Afternoon, Mam. 
Me: Hello there.  How are you today. 
Check-Out Man: I'm great.  She is very cute. 
Me: Thanks! She is pretty adorable. 
COM: (as he is finishing putting everything in the bags) You must be excited about the next one.  When are you due?  Let me get someone over here to help you.  EXPECTANT MOTHER NEEDS HELP! 
At that point I could have argued with him and informed him that NO!  I am NOT pregnant!  NO!  I do not need extra assistance!  But, at that point, I figured I might as well just take the extra help carrying things to the car.

I am sharing this story because, to me, it captures the way that people view my body.  This might not be true.  However, when I look at my body in the mirror and my stomach is bigger than I want it to be, all I can think is that people think I look pregnant, so therefore I think that I look pregnant.  Right now, this is how I feel, whether it is the truth or not.

After almost 2 months of being in Chicago and eating like old-Emily, I am certain that I have gained at least 10 pounds.  This is not me being over-dramatic or trying to get people to say, "No!  I am sure you didn't!"  It is a true fact.  I got on the scale at urgent care yesterday and the number stared at me in the face 172.6.  I really did gain 10+ pounds, which just shows how easy it is to fall of the wagon and also makes me kind of surprised that I didn't weigh more when I started this journey.  Here is a small taste of what my summer days of eating have been like (this is embarrassing and hard for me to share, but I feel that it is a necessity):

Large Mocha Lite
Blueberry Lemon Scone
1/4 bag of Swedish fish
Big Bowl stir-fry with crispy lemon chicken
Big Bowl spring rolls
4 lemon cookies (6 grams of fat a piece)
Olive Garden: 4 breadsticks, 2 bowls of salad, 2/3 of an entree, 1/2 a dessert

It would be ok if this was once and a while, but this has been all summer.  Old Emily, who eats 6 meals a day that are full meals, chips for snacks, and doesn't drink water, was alive and well this summer.  Eating and everything with the f* it mentality.  I've already fallen off.  I might as well enjoy it.  I was ok with this attitude, because it meant I wasn't miserable when I went over.

So, now it's time to get back on!  It's time to take control of my eating and exercising and my life.  It's time get back on track to lifetime! :)

Here are somethings that I have done to make sure that I am getting there:
1) Re-signed up for the Maplewood Community Center
2) Called about personal training
3) Found at least one class a day that I could go to
4) Have reached out to almost all of my Weight Watchers friends (Meg, I am texting you today!)
5) Will go grocery shopping tonight to have good food
6) Cleaned the kitchen so it is ready to go
7) Am going to buy a brand-new 3-month journal
8) Go back to emailing my food to Meg, Serina (and hopefully Shelby)
9) Set up an incentive program with the appropriate people
10) BLOG!!!! I am blogging again!! This helps me stay accountable!

I can do this and I will! 

I wanted to send a special shout out to Jordan W! I unfortunately didn't get to see her this summer.  But in a voice mail she left me, she commented that she hadn't seen any blog posts and that she was sad about that.  I have been thinking about her voice mail every day and thinking that I really should get back on the wagon.  So, Jordana!  Here's a post for you!  Come to Minnesota and visit me!!!

The last thing I wanted to share is an inspirational video that I took off someone on facebook.  It's the kind of video I am going to watch to keep me inspired.  I think you should watch it too! Ben Does Life 

Also, there may be some exciting news about my blogging this year... I should know more in a week and I will share with you!

Happy Tuesday everyone!