Sunday, November 2, 2014

And so the new plan is...

This past week three things happened that slapped me in the face with reality. 

1) It started on Tuesday at the doctor's office.  I got on the scale and knew what I have been suspecting for a while, I have gone up quite a bit.  It was hard to see.
2) Saturday night I was working an event for the amazing production company that I sometimes freelance for.  It has been almost a year since I worked an event.  When I went to get dressed my uniform shirt did not fit.  It didn't fit at all.
3) This morning I tried on a pair of jeans.  Jeans that until recently fit just fine.  They don't anymore.  

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.  I know I have said that again and again and again and again.  But I worked SO hard to get to a place that I felt good about.  I worked SO hard to get healthy.  And I have changed a lot of my habits... so I REFUSE, REFUSE, REFUSE to go back to where I was. I need to get back to doing what I know I needs to be done to lead a HEALTHIER lifestyle. 

Saturday evening I started to wallow.  I started to feel sad for myself.  I started to get angry.  I was really mad at myself.  What is my problem?  How did I let this happen?  And then I got a message from the amazing Courtney.  She reminded me that it does not do any good to just be mad.  It doesn't do any good feel sorry for myself.  What does that actually accomplish?

So, I started thinking.  What am I going to do?  


First, I need to remind myself that I know what to do and I have come a long way.  The picture above from 2009 compared to this October is a nice reminder. I am no longer going to McDonalds twice a day or drinking mochas three times a day.  I exercise AT LEAST 2 days a week and often work out more.  I think about what I eat now.  Even though I don't always make the best choice, at least I am thinking about what I eat.  I have made changes. This is important for me to remember.  I KNOW WHAT TO DO. 

Next, I needed to make a plan.  A plan that helped me to make better food choices and encouraged me to work out more.  I need to get myself back to where I was in 2011 (pictured below).  

My last blog entry was about food and money and my HUGE revelation about how they connect. This realization that I needed to change my financial practices hit home in a bit way. And I am proud to say that my money situation is getting better.  I made a plan and I am sticking to it.  I have gained momentum and it's time to use that momentum to get my weight and exercise back under control.  IT IS TIME. 

Today I took back my habits and made a plan.  I spent 3 hours cooking and planning meals for this week.  Using Pinterest (good for my health, not for my free time), I found a TON of recipes that focus on clean eating.  I cooked Buffalo Chicken Muffins (check out for more delightful recipes) and Lemon Garlic Chicken Breasts!  The muffins, while not as beautiful as pictured below, taste amazing and will make a great lunch for Ben and I tomorrow.  The chicken breasts will be used in several meals this week, including lettuce wraps, chicken salad, and chicken with kale stir-fry!  I will also be making deviled guacamole eggs and pepperoni pizza bites for meals this week and will report on how they taste! 

In addition to taking control of my eating this week I have come up with two other pieces to my grand plan.  I am going back to working out 4-5 days a week with NO exceptions! In order to "earn" my fancier Caribou drinks, I need to work out 3 times.  For each 3 times I work out, I earn a drink. And I want that fancy drink... Egg Nog Lattes are about to return. 

AND The Emily Tinawi 2014-2015 Weight Loss Incentive Program is back!  My 5 pound incentives worked so well the first time!  My life was turned upside down not too long after starting, but I had already earned two of my incentives so I know that this works for me!  I LOVE prizes for myself! So, it's back!  Listed below are my incentives for each 5 pounds!  

The Emily Tinawi 2014-2015 Weight Loss Incentive Program
  • 190 pounds-- Crock pot
  • 185 pounds-- $50 Shopping Spree 
  • 180 pounds-- Show at the Ordway/Orpheum
  • 175 pounds-- Spa Treatment
  • 170 pounds-- Night trip away/$100 spending money
  • 165 pounds-- $200 Shopping Spree and a new pair of high heeled boots 
  • 160 pounds-- DISNEY TRIP!!!!!!
I am excited for my plan.  I am excited for the changes I have already made.  And I am excited for the support that I have in my life. 

Thanks for all of your words of support and encouragement!  It means a lot to know that there are people fighting for a healthier lifestyle with me! 

I will be updating weekly with the results.  Let me know if you have food suggestions or things that inspire YOU!  

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

I Already Had The Fun

I had a completely different entry planned.  And then yesterday happened.  It made me think about lots of things in a different way... So, I decided that I wanted to share about that instead.

Spoiler Alert!  The big takeaway is that I have already had the fun.  Allow me explain...

Yesterday I had to face a harsh reality.  I have a lot of credit card debt.   And I really didn't understand exactly how much I have or the work it takes to pay off credit card debt because of the interest. Yes, correct.  I am 28 years old and I didn't really get how much money I bleed every day because of my credit cards.

Ok, now that that embarrassing piece of information is out in the open I can explain what this has to do with weight loss.

As it was explained to me yesterday (in terms of credit cards), I have already had the fun.  I spent the money.  It is gone.  Past Emily took money from Future Emily and Present Emily is having to get things in order.  To be clearer-- Since I already used the money, I can't spend that money on something else NOW because I need to pay back for the fun I already had.

DING!  That's the AH HA moment.  I ALREADY HAD THE FUN!   I need to be a bit stingier now, so that in the future I can have money to use more responsibly.  Get it?  I already had the fun and now it's time to pay it back!

Don't fret!  This sounds like a SUPER negative revelation but it's not.  There are big life lessons hidden in the statement and glimmers of hope in this difficult process!  It can't always feel like work.  I would quit pretty fast if there was NO fun to be had.  So, as I work to pay back myself, there will be smaller moments of fun (getting my nails done, coffee at Caribou once-in-a-while).  But I need to teach myself how to capitalize on those moments of small fun RESPONSIBLY and occasionally use my money for the bigger things that I will SAVE for (not impulse buy)!

I hope this is making sense to you so far.  And perhaps you already see how it correlates to food!

This past weekend I went to the Renaissance Festival and had an INCREDIBLE time!  I ate whatever I wanted.  I walked all day.  I laughed a lot.  I spent good quality time with family.  And I wasn't obsessively thinking about food.

However, I "spent" a lot of my food "money" and now I need to pay myself back. 

Perhaps this all sounds like crazy rambling to you, but for some reason it makes COMPLETE sense to me. My eating habits are like a bank.  And my body is the most "financially stable" when I am "putting in" more to the bank by eating better and exercising and "withdrawing less/putting more on credit" by eating unhealthily and not taking care of my body.  I need to get stingier with my food routines to actually CHANGE my food habits and create a more sustainable way of life.

YOU SEE?  BIG LIFE THOUGHTS!  I have already had the fun! :-)

Again, not that there isn't any fun to be had in the meantime, but it's time for some hard work to make up for the years of fun I have had without much consideration for the impact!

As blue as I felt yesterday, it was s hugely important moment for my life.  I need to get things under control.

This post is hard to write because it's hard to be vulnerable about money and health.  But perhaps this makes sense to someone reading and it sparks an AH HA moment.

Life is about the team that you have supporting you along the journey.  Lucky for me I have an amazing team.


Today is a good day.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Transformation Tuesday

Hello Blog World!
It's been over a month since I posted... two people pointed it out to me yesterday so I decided I needed to post today.

Truth.  I have been a little embarrassed to post.  I haven't been to the gym in about a month.  And I haven't been the best at tracking every day.  I have not been the healthiest Emily. 

I could write about the last month of bad habits.
I could write about feeling sorry for myself.
I could write about being hard on myself for not following my plan.
I could write a super negative post.

INSTEAD... I want to keep up my positive attitude.  Even if I haven't been the best, I have been in great spirits.  So, instead of whining about how "bad" I have been, I am going focus on what I can celebrate!

Things to celebrate:
1) WAY over 10,000 steps everyday
2) NO SODA since May 22
3) UPBEAT mindset!
4) Staying between 180-186 pounds!
5) Someone shared with me that my blog inspired them to go to the gym and they lost 2 weeks in a row!
6) Someone wrote on Facebook that I am inspiration to keep them running.
7) I have been trying to stop eating when I am full.  Really listening to my body.

I saw someone post an Transformation Tuesday post!  I decided that I would also post for Transformation Tuesday.  Here are some photos from the last 5 years of this journey!  I am not at my lowest, but I am feeling good.  It's interesting to see how I have changed over the last 5 years.

213ish pounds

190ish pounds

170ish pounds-- Lowest! 

177ish pounds

192ish pounds

186ish pounds

I know that I need to keep paying attention to what I am eating and exercising! :-)  This journey is far from over. 

Monday, June 9, 2014

It's Short But Simple

The rain was pouring.
It was very, very early.
I was tired.
I needed to check my email right then.
I needed to finish an episode of New Girl. 
I needed to anything that was not going to the gym.

I did not go.
I was sitting in my workout clothes.
I did not go.
I checked my email.
I did not go.

And then I just grabbed my stuff and went.

I did C25K Week 3 Day 1.  
It was hard.  
I still didn't want to be there. 
But I stayed. 

I finished my run. 
I did my strength. 
I was glad I went. 

I'm still glad I went.
Short and simple.
It's worth it.
Going to the gym.
It's totally worth it.
I am worth it.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

How To Turn Your Day Around

I had a bunch of different blog entries planned and then yesterday happened.

Yesterday morning I got on the scale at the gym.


The last time I weighed myself was on April 29.  176.  Yesterday 186.


And I felt shattered.  Totally shattered.  I've been in such a good state of mind, to get on the scale and see that number was just brutal.

After talking to some of the important people in my life (THANK YOU!) I started feeling better.  I needed some reminding that I have been working really hard and feeling really good.

So I did what any sane girl feeling depressed about her body does.  I went bathing suit shopping.  It really could have gone two different ways.  But I decided that I wanted to take back the working hard, feeling great feeling.

I tried on three bathing suits.

2 two-piece bathings suits... WHAT?!?!
1 really cute, maroon one-piece bathing suit.

The results could have been terrible.  But I am happy to say that although the two-pieces didn't get purchased, I tried them on AND walked out of my dressing room to look in the bigger mirrors.  And they looked quite cute.  Honestly, if they had one of them in my size I would have purchased it.

I did buy the one-piece and I am really happy with it.

And after trying on the swim suits, I came back to my apartment, changed my outfit into something cuter and went and had a GREAT day.  I didn't let the stupid number ruin my day.

As the security guard who works the front desk here reminded me the other day when it was pouring out, it's all about perspective and how you choose to face the rain.

And as you can see from pictures, my day turned out to be super sunny.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

It Isn't Just About Shorts

There are 5 pictures below and they all have something in common. See if you can figure out what it is...

In case you hadn't figure it out it's my shorts.  Well, my "longs" as my boyfriend calls them.  And for as long as I can remember they are the only shorter pants I would wear when temperatures got hotter.  Because, as you see, like many other "bigger" women I have come to think that because I am a bit bigger means that I should keep more of myself covered up.  Even though I am feeling better about my body and my health, this feeling that "no one wants to see my legs (aka my fat)" is still something that I have been battling for years.

I am sure there are those of you out there that totally know what I am talking about. I put tank tops under shirts so there is 0% chance that any stomach will show EVER.  I wear pants and longer shorts that won't tighten up too much when I sit so my legs don't look like they are spilling over.  I wear sweaters over all of my tighter fitting outfits to hide some of the less attractive parts of me.  In conclusion, I purposefully wear clothes that hide my body.

Am I proud to admit all of these things?  Absolutely not.  It's hard to admit.  Especially because I pride myself on being confident and helping youth find their confidence.

In the past couple months something has started to shift in my thinking.  My "style" choices, the ones that hide my beautiful self, were pointed out to me.  The fact that I cover everything up with a sweater.  Or feel that because I have thicker legs I can't wear smaller shorts.  And although I always knew the reasons I was doing these things, to have them called out was a good shock to my system. To have it sink that that someone thinks that I-- exactly the way I am, working my butt off to stay healthy--don't need to continue to cover up so much.  "You are beautiful just the way you are."

And so recently I bought a pair of real shorts.  REAL, ACTUAL shorts.  It was pretty scary. And at first I didn't like them at all.  I haven't owned a pair of shorts like that since high school.  But after wearing them a couple times, I started to readjust.  And then I started to feel more confident.  And then I started to enjoy wearing them.  And now I have to say I think I look damn good.

But it wasn't just about the shorts.  It was about owning myself.  Starting to have an understanding of my body and how I look to others.  Not solely relying on the mirror, but how I actually feel wearing clothes.  I leave the gym feeling amazing, so why is it that I have such a hard time putting on a dress and feeling the same way?

Recently I spent time hanging out with someone that I believe is STUNNINGLY beautiful.  And the amount of people that check her out on the street totally agree. But she doesn't see it.  She confided in me that all she sees is fat when she looks in the mirror.  And I have to admit that I don't see a lick of fat on her.  After our conversation I came home and looked in the mirror.  Like many people, all I could see was the "blech".  You know, the things that make you say "blech".  And I got annoyed at myself because how can that be all I see when I am FEELING so great!  I am working my butt off and I feel great, so why do I continue to bash myself every time I look in the mirror.

Several of my friends posted THIS article on Facebook.  It's a story about a woman named Mehgan Tonjes who had her picture taken off Instagram because it was deemed as "inappropriate".  It was a photo much like the photos I take to share with my friends when I am feeling good.  But because she is a bit "bigger" it was taken down for being inappropriate.  And then Instagram apologized and it became a whole big thing.  But my point is, it really got me thinking about myself and the shorts.

We need to spend more time as people, woman especially, understanding how beautiful we are. Everyday.    

I am very lucky that I have people in my life who push to help me see it.  And these shorts were the first of many new clothing adventures I am trying.  And although they aren't all winners... yesterday I tried on a bathing suit that looked HEINOUS... at least I am trying to show the world that I am not ashamed of who I am or how I look.  While I may not be exactly where I want to be, I have worked damn hard to get to where I am and I will continue to work on being proud of how I look.  Because as I said, it isn't just about the shorts... it's about being able to see that they do indeed make me look damn good.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

It's Been A While... And it's all about me!

Hello Blogging World!!

Man, it's been a while.  I was deep in the swing of health and blogging things when I turned my life upside down.  Long story very short I am now living in a one bedroom apartment and am dating someone new.  It was super sudden and really changed my daily life routines.

And therefore it has been a while.  I was very hesitant to blog in the month after because all that would come out were super emotional posts about trying to eat and working out when my life was in total chaos.  I tried a couple times but as I sat at the computer to type I would cry and then I stopped.  The overall lesson from the last couple months is that it is possible to keep on track and not eat your feelings when life goes awry.  There ARE people out there that are going to help you stay on and be there with you as you try and grasp onto some form of normalcy.  And these things can happen even if you aren't blogging.

HOWEVER-- This past weekend I was at my college reunion at Oberlin College and 7 separate people mentioned reading my blog.  People that I don't keep in contact with except for on Facebook. And it made me really think.  I miss blogging.  I miss sharing my experiences.  I miss having the accountability.  I miss having the extra support... And it really hit me that it isn't just for me... there are other people who are struggling and hearing about my ups and downs has helped... and it meant a lot to hear that people that I haven't spoken to in 6 years were reading this blog and being inspired by it.  So that's it... It's decided... It's time to get back into blogging.

So here we are.  A much different overall life pace and plan than I started out the year with but ready to kick some major butt!

Let me start the meat of this post by saying I am happy.  I am very, very happy and in a really good mental place.  This is important.  And being aware of it has been very important in understanding my motivations and drive for staying healthy.  Right now... IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!  Selfish as it sounds... I have to get myself in order.  I need to be healthy and happy FOR ME.  Not for anyone else.  This giant, very simple understand has been HUGE.  And it's very important to my summer in NYC.

But let me back up for a second so I can catch you up on the current happenings.  I am presently in NYC.  I left my brand new one bedroom apartment in Minnesota (which is waiting for me when I come home) to come to NYC for the summer to finish my masters.  One more summer and I am DONE!  Woo hoo!  So, here I am.  Spending my summer in NYC!  It's pretty fantastic and I am excited to be here.  But also a bit terrified...

I was here a couple summers ago.  Summer 2012 I went into with a major plan to stay on track and lose weight while I was here.  It didn't happen.  In fact, I gained weight.

June 2012-- 168.8 pounds 
August 2012-- 177.2 pounds 

Then last summer I said f*it all together and just ate whatever while I was in Europe (I feel like that was ok, I mean I was living in Europe.  How often does that happen?).  But the end result was the biggest I had been since 2011.  EEESSSHHHH...

June 2013-- 182.2 pounds 
August 2013-- 192.8 pounds 

I spent this past year losing all of the weight that I had gained last summer and then some.  It was not easy work and now here we are.  Starting Summer 2014 and I am DETERMINED not to gain weight this summer.

May 2014-- 176.4 pounds
August 2014-- ?????

I KNOW that I am not going to gain weight.  It's too important to this new idea that it's ALL ABOUT ME!

I want to be healthy.
I want to be in a place where eating better is routine not just work.
I want to continue building my relationship where working out and being healthy is part of who we are.
I want to continue to be happy.

I am SO happy.  Happier than I have been in 10 years probably. And because of this I feel like life is my oyster and there are endless possibilities.  And I this feeling that anything is possible includes getting myself in shape.  It is MORE THAN POSSIBLE.

I worked so hard this year to get where I am.  And although I am not the lowest weight I have been, I think I am actually in the best shape I have been in since high school.

I feel GREAT.  And because of that, I am doing what I need to stay on!  I joined a gym here, am tracking all my food and exercise, and have accountability people in Minnesota who are checking in on me.


Cheesy as it sounds-- this is my only life and I am going to make sure I am always doing what I need to in order to get the most out of it.  Right now it's all about ME!

So be ready for more posts.  There is one coming about the gym I joined soon.

But for now, make today about YOU... be excited that today is Thursday.  A day where you can do whatever you want. And make sure you are getting out of it what you need.  Because ultimately that's what life is about.  Be happy. <3

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

What Does My Stomach Say?

And yes, I did sing the fox song when I typed that.

This week I learned something very interesting.  As I have been listening to my body, I realize that it is actually quite smart.  It actually does try and tell me when I am full.  It does  try and tell me what is good for me and what is not.  Crazy, I know!

Listening to my body I have made some giant realizations!  I have learned that I crave bad, unhealthy food. Greasy, cheesy, delicious, disgusting food. I taste a bit and I want more.  I see it and I want to eat it. I smell it and I want to eat it.

This past weekend I ate:

  • Fried pickles
  • Mozzarella sticks 
  • 3 pieces of gluten free pizza
  • Greasy Chinese food

Each time I was giddy with excitement to eat what was in front of me.  I had flex points to use and felt good about eating them.  They looked delicious.  They looked like something that would bring me happiness.

The truth. 

I felt bloated, gross, and uncomfortable.  None of those foods made me happy.  In fact, they made me sluggish.  They made me feel yucky.  They made me feel completely uncomfortable, sitting and standing.  

And it hit me.  DING!  This is part of my battle.  Remembering that feeling.  Listening to my body.  Trying to fight against my desires and impulses.  Ignoring the "want" and choosing the healthy.  That is so much easier said then done.  But as I continue to work on getting healthier and taking better care of myself.  It is something that I will try and keep in mind. The continuous struggle between healthy and unhealthy. I need to start paying better attention.  I NEED to be aware of this battle.  This is going to help me stay with this new lifestyle.  

So, what does my stomach say? 
"Don't listen to your taste buds or impulses! Eat healthy!" 
(Cheesy but true) 

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

What Matilda Has To Do With Weight Loss

First things first, I lost .8 pounds tonight.  Not as much as I wanted but I'll take a loss! That's almost 8 pounds in a month!  I am on the right track!

The focus of the Weight Watchers meeting tonight was "The Power of Routines".  This has actually been a HUGE focus on my mind recently.  Routines.  How can I make this lifestyle my routine? What are the routines that are making me successful?

Here are the routines that Weight Watchers has deemed make someone successful:

  1. Eat breakfast every day. 
  2. Eat vegetables or fruit with every meal or snack. 
  3. Put your fork down and sip water between bites. 
  4. Wait a bit before reaching for seconds.
  5. Wear an activity monitor all day, every day.
  6. Walk at least five minutes each hour.
  7. Know how you're going to be active tomorrow. 
  8. Try standing up for your usual sit-down activities. 
  9. Always have a healthy snack on hand. 
  10. Plan the PointsPlus value of your next meal or snack. 
  11. Know what you're having for lunch. 
  12. Ask yourself: Is this worth the PointsPlus value? 
  13. Get 7 to 8 hours of quality sleep each night. 
  14. Eat all your meals at a table. 
  15. Eat all your meals free of distraction. 
  16. Always have comfortable shoes with you. 
During the meeting I thought about this list and which routines I feel confident that I am doing regularly (highlighted in blue).

  1. Eat breakfast every day. 
  2. Eat vegetables or fruit with every meal or snack. 
  3. Put your fork down and sip water between bites. 
  4. Wait a bit before reaching for seconds.
  5. Wear an activity monitor all day, every day.
  6. Walk at least five minutes each hour.
  7. Know how you're going to be active tomorrow. 
  8. Try standing up for your usual sit-down activities. 
  9. Always have a healthy snack on hand. 
  10. Plan the PointsPlus value of your next meal or snack. 
  11. Know what you're having for lunch. 
  12. Ask yourself: Is this worth the PointsPlus value? 
  13. Get 7 to 8 hours of quality sleep each night. 
  14. Eat all your meals at a table. 
  15. Eat all your meals free of distraction. 
  16. Always have comfortable shoes with you. 
This list made me realize that I need to continue working on some of these routines if I want to hit my goal.  It also made me realize that I have something big to be proud of... one daily activity I have made a routine is walking and weight training! I HAVE MADE EXERCISING A ROUTINE! 

I still don't LOVE exercising and I am not sure I ever will, however, there are things I can do to make it easier and less painful. 

Today I walked on the treadmill. BBBBOOOORRRRIIIINNNGGGGGGG. To make it more fun (for me) I listened to my Ipod.  Rather I ROCKED OUT to my Ipod.  I can't even explain the happiness that washed over me as the music played into my ears... perhaps coursed through me is a better description... but I felt overly happy.  Just pure joy and happiness as I walked with my headphones on.  Happy, amused, feeling just fine to be walking on the treadmill.  Not bored, not annoyed... Happy, amused, feeling good.  Jamming.   

And what was I jamming to?  This is where Matilda comes in.  This past summer I saw Matilda in London.  The show itself makes me weep.  WEEP.  Just a great show about the amazingness of children and what they can do.  This morning one of the songs really resonated with me.  A video of the song is below. 

In case you decide you don't want to watch, here are the lyrics that hit home:

Every day, starts with the tick of a clock.
All escapes, starts with the click of a lock!
If you're stuck in your story and want to get out
You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout!

'Cause if you're little you can do a lot, you
Mustn't let a little thing like, 'little' stop you
If you sit around and let them get on top, you
Won't change a thing!

Just because you find that life's not fair, it
Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it!
If you always take it on the chin and wear it
You might as well be saying
You think that it's ok
And that's not right!
And if it's not right!
You have to put it right!

But nobody else it gonna put it right for me!
Nobody but me is going to change my story!
Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty!

If you have read Matilda or seen the movie, you know that Matilda has to play some tricks on her parents to get things done.  She has to make her own life right because she is handed a tough situation.  I am not saying that my overall life situation is tough.  In fact, the opposite.  I have a great life.  I really feel so lucky with the people in my life and where I am at 27, almost 28.  

In regards to my weight loss and health that is not the case.  I don't feel lucky.  And as I was speed walking on the treadmill I realized that there are some times where I feel stuck and pity myself.  "I am too busy... I am addicted to food... blah blah blah... woe is me."  And as I walked and listened to Matilda today I began to feel even more empowered.  I have changed my routines.  I have changed my eating habits.  I may not always be perfect but I am changing... 

But nobody else it gonna put it right for me!
Nobody but me is going to change my story!

Matilda said it right.  Matilda knows the way to success.

So this week Weight Watchers has given me a set of routines to work on and Matilda has given me words to internalize and live by! 

Friday, January 31, 2014

A Small Victory

Yesterday my mother and I had a day o' fun!  We braved the snow and headed to a spa.  After some relaxation we headed towards the mall where we had to do some shopping!  As a treat for our snow day we went to SmashBurger.  The last time I went I had the BIG sized burger, a side of fries, mayo, and had a big dessert.  I remember on that day feeling HUGELY full.  Uncomfortably full.

Yesterday I tried to listen to my body, as corny as that sounds.  I ate the burger, only half a bun, and 1/2 an order of french fries.  I was full.  Not too full.  Not uncomfortable, but full.

When I started doing Simple Start it kinda made me chuckle.  Eat the things on the list until I feel full.  Ha.  If I was able to stop eating when I feel full, I probably wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place.

At SmashBurger yesterday I felt a small victory.  Not on the scale.  Not in clothes.  But in my body and my mindsets.  I ate only until I felt full.  I stopped eating fries when I started to feel it and finished my burger.

Today I head to the gym to work out with Courtney.  :-)  I didn't get to work out yesterday but I made my 10,000 steps! :-)

I am keeping on this path.  June 2014... I will be ready to take on the summer.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

One Mouse Accomplished

I am fighting a cold. My nose is red. I can't stop coughing. My body aches. My head hurts. And despite all that I am smiling. I dragged my sick self to weight watchers tonight. The results were very exciting. 

Down 3.6 pounds!!!

I have reached my first incentive!!!! A brand new, wireless mouse for work! Woo hoo!!!! 

7 pounds in 3 weeks!
Down almost 30 from my very beginning weight. 
4 pounds away from my next incentive!

Even more importantly I feel great. I'm working out more. Walking 10,000 steps at least 5 days a week. Eating better. And am following my deal to myself to only get a fancy caribou coffee after 5 days of working out. I'm making big, big changes. 

I feel so pumped. 184 pounds. The last time I weighed 184 pounds was 5-28-13. 

This week is going to be a bit challenging working out wise. Especially if I am still not feeling well tomorrow. However, here is my plan. 
Wed: 60 minutes with Courtney
Thurs: None
Fri: 60 minutes with Courtney, 30 minutes walking
Sat: 30 minutes walking, 40 minutes yoga
Sun: 30 minutes walking
Mon: 30 minutes with Courtney, 30 minutes walking 

My friend Chloe has asked me to blog more often. I think I would like to try that again. I'm looking for good topics to write about. Send me ideas. 

Since rehearsals for Urinetown are over, I am trying to find activities and ways of keeping me motivated in the evenings. I am thinking that blogging is one of them!

As I cough myself to sleep tonight, I am going to be smiling knowing that I am on an awesome path and will continue to get healthy. By June, when I leave for NYC I won't be nervous about gaining because my habits will have changed and working out will be a part of my routine!

Thank you for your support!!!!!! :) 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

A Good Start

Week #1 on Weight Watchers Simple Start at I am down 2.4 pounds!  I am feeling good about my week and all of the accomplishments from the week.

I stuck to the plan mostly.  The great part of my eating this week was that I never went crazy or overate.  Sometimes when I am tracking and I go over points I get this "screw it" mentality and just eat whatever I want.  Afterwards I would feel gross, guilty, and just uncomfortably full.  This one week on Simple Start has helped me feel good about my eating.  It has shown me that I can feel full, eat delicious food, and still allow myself some treats.  I wasn't a saint with my eating last week.  I ate something "not healthy" every day.  I ate out three different times.  I had a rice krispie treat and ate gluten free noodles.  I never felt deprived.

I think another big part of my success this week was all of my working out!  This was what I did last week:
Wednesday-- 60 minutes with my personal trainer
Thursday-- 60 minutes of Body Pump
Friday-- 30 minutes with my personal trainer
Saturday-- 30 minutes of cardio, 60 minutes of yoga
Sunday-- Day Off
Monday-- 30 minutes with my personal trainer
Tuesday-- Day off

It's the start of my second week on Simple Start and I am feeling good!  Ready to take on the week and perhaps make a few mistakes.  I am going to try my best to lose another 2.4 pounds.  I am getting closer to my first reward... a new mouse for my desk!  Can't wait!

Thanks for everyone who has sent supportive messages and emails!  2014 is the year!  The year to get healthy!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Emily Tinawi 2014 Weight Loss Incentive Program

That was my weigh in today.  191. 

Still 22 from my original weight on 1-12-10 but not at all what I want. 

I am not feeling very healthy.  I think that is the bigger problem.  

My knee has been acting up. 

All this means... It's SERIOUSLY time.  I mean really.  
I know, I know.  "Emily, you keep saying that and nothing changes."  I am embarrassed to admit that I have been THE WORST this past year.  And I feel it.  I don't feel great.  Not just because I don't look the way I want or because my clothes don't fit, although that doesn't help.  I don't feel in shape and able to go up the stairs without getting winded.  That is where it is really not ok.  

I am beginning to start thinking about a family and starting my own family.  Stop getting all crazy in your head!  No NOW!  Or even in the next two-three years.  But the thought has been growing in my mind.  And I want to be ready for that.  I want to be able to keep up with my kids and carry them around and play soccer in the yard.  Living like that isn't an overnight thing.  It's a mindset.  It's a lifestyle.  And I HAVE to get back in the habit of taking care of myself.

SO... Here are the steps that I am taking this month to get me back on track. 
  1. For the next TWO weeks I am going to do the Weight Watchers Simple Start!  
  2. In order to get a fancy drink at Caribou, I need to do 4 days of cardio!  In addition to my 5 days a week with Courtney (3 weight based sessions, 1 cardio session, 1 yoga session).
  3. My E. Tinawi Weight Loss Incentive Program
I am pretty pumped about the last part.  I am going to give myself rewards along the way.  I used to do food incentives but this time I am trying some NEW!  I know a lot of people that have done incentives and they have worked for them.  Plus I like getting treats, so that's a BONUS!  So, I decided that for every 5 pounds I lose, I will earn something nice for myself.  Without further adieu...

The Emily Tinawi 2014 Weight Loss Incentive Program
  • 185 pounds-- Buy a new wireless mouse for my desk at work  
  • 180 pounds-- Gel mani/pedi 
  • 175 pounds-- Show at the Ordway/Orpheum
  • 170 pounds-- Spa Treatment of some kind
  • 165 pounds-- Night trip away somewhere/$100 spending money 
  • 160 pounds-- JD Date Day (planned by Joshua himself) 
  • 155 pounds-- $200 Shopping Spree
  • 150 pounds or below-- DISNEY TRIP SUMMER 2015!!!!!! (weight must be maintained until summer of 2015).

JD and I went to Disney for our first anniversary.  It was super fun.  It will be our 5 year anniversary in 2015 so the trip will be a combined YAY almost goal and anniversary trip!

And so I begin!  I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to go on a trip to Disney again.  It would be amazingly FUN and awesome!!!  And all my other incentives are things that I want that I can't justify just spending money on. They will feel awesome, however, to earn. 

I've done it before.  I can do it again.  Wireless Mouse!!!  Here I come... 

Friday, January 3, 2014

Simple Start

Happy 2014!  Welcome back for yet another exciting first of the year blog entry!

As I started to write this entry, I looked back at the past beginning of January posts from 2011, 2012, and 2013.

Three years ago, this was my very first blog entry.

January 30, 2011
"My name is Emily and I am a food lover.  So much so, that I gained over 50 pounds in 3 years.  I went from 160 to almost 220 without so much as blinking an eye.  It's been a year since I started Weight Watchers, which was pretty much the best decision I have ever made, and I have so far lost 41 pounds.  I feel amazing and life is good, however, I still have 30 pounds to go until I am at goal.
This blog is my new incentive to begin to really reflect on this whole rollercoaster ride that is my weight-loss journey and this huge lifestyle change.  So although I am not very funny or witty, this is my attempt to share my thoughts. :)"

I looked at this post and it made me smile.  This is the beginning of my 4th year on Weight Watchers.  Four years of being aware of being healthier.  Although I have taken many steps back and am not where I want to be, I am proud of many accomplishments along the way.  I've run 5Ks, tracked for months on end, made it through gaming conventions, learned how to make healthier food, worked out 5 days a week.  Thinking back, I am proud of what I have done.  But now it's time for a change.  I think I am ready to try something different.

My mother told me that most people don't follow through on their New Year's Resolution because big change isn't just about changing a habit, it's about changing a mindset.  I think that is a huge part of my problem.  I can't just be on plan until after I weigh in on Tuesday, go crazy and eat whatever I want, and then get back on plan on Wednesday.  I need to change my mindset to understand that it is about more than "making it through".  It's about actually understanding and taking care of my body.

Weight Watchers just introduced SIMPLE START.  You don't track points but you use a list of foods to help make solid choices.  I have decided to try this for the month of January.  As scary as it is to not track points, I think this is going to help me with changing my mindset.  I think I also REALLY need something NEW to help keep me going.  Something new!

I started yesterday and it was successful.  This morning for breakfast I had cream of wheat with bananas and an egg with tomatoes!  I am feeling full and satisfied.  I don't know what is for lunch yet but yesterday I went to the grocery story and have a fridge full of food!

I am ready to take on 2014!  I am ready to try something new!  I have other hopes and dreams for 2014... most not weight related... but I am excited for the year!

I read an article that was posted on Facebook and loved these two "things to change in 2014"! I think both of these general ideas are also going to help me this year! 
Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own. You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.

Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.