I have been trying very hard not to get sick and so have been forgoing the morning workouts to sleep. After only 4 days of not working out, it's hard to get the motivation back. Even this morning, I thought I was going to wake up and work out. However, I was/am so worried about getting sick before my big performance tomorrow night, that I just slept. I think this is good for my body since I wasn't feeling well earlier in the week and I think it is rebelling against me.
HOWEVER, not working out and eating like crap the last two days has left my body feeling awful. Here are my observations that have been a good wake up for me:
- I don't need as much food as I used to
- I feel YUCKY when I eat too much
- I can't help eat food when it is in front of me
- If I can focus on something else I won't eat it
- Carbs are a DOWNFALL
- I CAN be good when I got to Florida
- If I stop working out, there is a risk that I won't start again, and that CAN'T happen!!
I know I am not the only person who has thought:
- Maybe I am just meant to be this size
- It's my bones
- Isn't this far good enough?
- If I keep this as my goal, then I won't be disappointed when I don't make it
- Skinny people are just lucky
This time last year I gave into all these feelings. And from April-August I didn't track at all. I was LUCKY because I only gained 2 pounds in that whole time. This Spring and Summer I won't be so lucky. I don't have the luxury to just stop doing weight watchers. If I do, I may gain all that I have lost. I need to keep working as hard as I can. Working out. Eating right. And finding the people, objects, and pictures that ground me during this journey and keep me going.
As these hard, busy, crazy, fun, and eating-out-more weeks happen, I need to keep my goal in mind. I need people around me to remind me that they believe in me.
Yesterday, a co-worker came up to me and said, "Emily, I am putting together pictures for Achieve's 15th anniversary slide show and I truly did not recognize a picture of you from last year. I had to look at the name to figure out who it was."
These are the moments I need to hang on to. These are the moments I need to remember. Is everyday going to be amazing? No. I am human. I can't think that it will be. Or give up if I trip. Or give in to the fat girl inside.
As I head off for the coming weeks, I would love people's ideas about how to make sure I am sticking on track.
Also, if you feel so inclined, let me know what you would like me to write about, anything you would like my thoughts or ideas on!! :-)
Happy Spring Break!!!