It's Time

Alright people! It's official!!  I need to get BACK ON THE WAGON! 

And I need some help and advice... I've been on and off, mostly off, since June.  

• What are some suggestions you have to get back on?
• Ideas for good healthy recipes? 
• Fun workouts or places to work out? 
• Foods that are satisfying and yummy but low point? 

I want everything and anything you can think of. 

It's been too long and I have gained too much... 

So, like White Snake says, 

"Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,...

And I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time."

 

Summer Goal Updates

Happy Sunday everyone!  I have had an amazing week this past week.  The classes I am in are AMAZING and the people that I have met are just wonderful.  I am lucky that there are 6 weeks left.  And while I want to write about all my adventures, my blog today is about what I need to do to stay on health track this summer.

So I began this summer with the following goals:

1. 30 minutes of walking a day (easy to do since yesterday I walked like 4 hours) 
2. 3- 30 minutes strength training a week
3. Tracking everything I eat (not with points, but what I am eating) 
4. Emailing Courtney 3 times a week and sending her pics of my food tracker and letting her know what I have been doing (whether I have done what I am "supposed to" or not)
5. Trying to lessen my carb intake somewhat 
6. Emailing/texting Shelby everyday (I added this one!) 
7. In August, I will do a food cleanse

This morning I weighed in at Weight Watchers I am almost back at 170 pounds.  Ouch.  The last time I was up to 170 was when I got back from Chicago last summer.  I spent all last year taking BACK off all the weight I gained last summer and yet, here I am again.  170 pounds.  Blarg.  So, after being here for a couple of weeks and figuring out what is reasonable, I am changing my goals.  Below are the new goals. 

1. Walk over 15,000 steps a day.  I already walk 60 minutes a day, easily, so I want a more concrete  goal. 
2. Do 10 minutes of strength every other day.  Push-ups, sit-ups, body weigh squats. There isn't a lot of space for big workouts. 
3. Daily track EVERYTHING that I eat WITH weight watchers points.  I have been writing down my food every day without weight watchers points.  I think it hasn't been keeping me accountable, so now I feel that I need to be kept more accountable. 
4. Bi-weekly texts and emails of all my food diaries to Courtney.  I texted her this morning to make sure she agrees.  She is going to help keep me accountable. 
5. Daily texts to Shelby. 
6. Do a food cleanse in August, but not rely on the cleanse or my walking every day for my weight loss. 

As soon as I got home from Weight Watchers I threw away all the junk food that was on my desk.  I immediately started my tracking today as well.

I have come too far in 3 years to just throw it away in a summer.  There will always be challenges.  There will always be vacations, but I cannot go back to just eating however I want and thinking it will all workout.  I am going to keep my goals.  I am going to LOSE weight this summer.  I will NOT come back from NYC at 170! 


Here's to a brand new week!

New York Adventures and A Weight Watchers Meeting

Almost 5 days in New York and I have already learned a lot.  This city is filled with some of the most beautiful, oddest, smelliest, need-to-eat-a-sandwichest, and most talented people.

And while I know I am going to love my summer here, I have decided that without a doubt, I am not someone who wants to live here forever.  Therefore, this 3 summers living in New York is PERFECT because in August, I can go home to my dog, my man, my car, my HOUSE, and my friends.  :-)  However, with that said, I am sure you aren't reading my blog to hear about the things at home that I am missing.  New York is a wonderful, eclectic place and I am loving my daily adventures roaming around the city.  My top thoughts on NYC so far:

1. If you sightsee on your own, there is a good chance men will give you their phone numbers.  (I got 2 and a free coffee!) 
2. A bad tour guide can make a 2 hour bus ride seem like 5. 
3. Having tourist footwear is better than the blisters that ensue. 
4. Gaming stores in Minnesota are better than in Manhattan. 

Everyday I have been writing in my NYC exclusive journal.  The hope is that I can really document my summer here and remember all of the adventures that I went on.  My journal is filled with a detailed account of each day in New York.  And while I wish that I had time to really type out ALL of the things that I have done and experience, I will instead try and give you the Cliff Notes version.  So, what I will do is a brief synopsis of each day with a highlight from that day.  And at the end, I will close with some advice from my Weight Watchers meeting.  

Day #1

After moving in and adventuring around for a bit, I wandered down to Washington Square Park.  I walked, read, ate, and enjoyed being in the beautiful weather in NYC.  Washing Square Park is alive with performers, kids singing, people reading... There was even a man who had a baby grand piano that he rolled into the park to play for the people sitting around.  It was just the perfect way to begin my NYC adventure. The highlight, a set of Twin street performers who spun each other on the tops of their heads and were completely un-PC in their jokes, but completely hilarious.  

Day #2

My second day in NYC was all about figuring out how to get around and hanging out with friends.  I had the chance to have a lovely lunch with my friends Maggie and Liza on the deck of Maggie's apartment building.  We had sandwiches and chatted.  I hung out at home for a bit.  Skyped with my Ashland coach buddies and then headed to dinner with another wonderful friend and her boyfriend.  Anna, Randall, and I hate a great dinner and a chance to catch up.  I love knowing that this summer we will all hang out again.  The highlight of my day, Obies in NY.  Gotta love it.  

Day #3 

As I mentioned in my first NYC post, I am determined to experience as much of NY as I can.  So, I decided that for 2 straight days I would do some of the most touristy things.  Who knew that I would barely scratch the surface of touristy NYC.  I didn't get to the Statue, Ellis Island, or really most of the big ticket items.  However, I got up early determined to go on an adventure.  I arrived outside the Spiderman theatre at 8:30 and sat and read until 10.  I got my tickets for the show that night and headed on my adventure.  I decided the best way to see as much as possible was to spend the day on a double decker bus.  Our tour guide was GREAT.  He was this big guy from Brooklyn.  I would not ever want to get on his bad side.  He clearly loved the city and knew so much about it.  I learned a lot from the tour.  Things that most New Yorkers already know, but I thought were fascinating.  Example: SOHO=South of Houston St.  The tour was a GREAT way to get the flavor of the different parts of the city.  And for me, I made notes about where I want to go back and spend more time.  Places that I wouldn't have ever gone if I hadn't seen a glimpse of them on the tour.  The bus went all around downtown.  It so much fun.  One VERY important piece of information that I have to add before I go on to the next part of my adventure was that on the bus was where I also got given my first phone number.  The son of a family on the bus handed me his number when he got off.  I didn't talk to him or his family at all. I must have looked lonely just sitting there.  Ha.  

After getting off the bus, I headed to Top of the Rock.  Ah!  It was JUST beautiful.  Breathtaking even.  Although, I did learn that it is hard to take your own picture when you are traveling on your own. :-) On my way up to the Top of the Rock was where I was given my second phone number.  One of the guys who was working there chatted me up while I was waiting in line for security.  After I came out of the bathroom, boom, there he was with his phone number.  I told him that my husband probably wouldn't appreciate me calling him, but thank you.  Granted I don't have a husband, but I wear the ring that JD gave me on my wedding finger, so the story doesn't seem to unrealistic.  Afterwards I sat and read in the plaza.  It was just spectacular.  Dinner with some of my Minnesota faves, Kris and her daughter!  We ate delicious Cuban food.  Then I headed to Spiderman, the musical.  It was exactly what I expected.  A spectacle.  Terrible story line.  Ok music.  Good performances.  Glad that I only paid $39 instead of the $150 that the normal ticket was.  Then I headed home.  These 2 paragraphs can't even begin to really capture what the day was like, however, it was just a great day.  The highlight of my day, reading in 4 different parks or plazas. 

View from the Top of the Rock

Me at the Top of the Rock

Day #4

Another day of being a tourist for me.  Took the bus tour of Brooklyn.  Sat next to a wonderfully lovely family.  It was HOT HOT HOT.  Sweat was dripping all over, all day.  No joke.  Gross.  The day went along fine.  I walked around after the Brooklyn tour and went on the NBC tour!  That was VERY cool.  The day's end was not as great as its beginning.  It was almost a tragedy.  I went on a "Night Tour".  There were several things wrong with my "Night Tour".  I suppose it was actually a night tour because it happened in the night hours.  However, the pictures made it look like we would be on the bus looking at the different monumental places in NYC when they were lit up at night.  Wrong.  It was a combination of the downtown and Brooklyn tour at 6 pm.  Nothing was lit up.  We didn't stop anywhere new.  It was just sad.  Also, it said non-stop.  It wasn't non-stop, we stopped several times.   One time so that the bus driver could buy cherries.  No joke.  

Now, you might think that all of of this sounds bad... but the worst part of the tour wasn't the lack of new scenery or the stops.  This "Night Tour" was where I learned how TERRIBLE a TERRIBLE tour guide could be.  First of all, he said, "If you will" at least once or twice per sentence.  His jokes were just awful.  He spent 3 minutes making a joke about Puff Daddy's different names.  And I am very serious.  It was painful.  Uncomfortable.  People were awkwardly laughing and looking around.  The Australian couple kept looking at their watches and shooting sympathetic looks at me because I had no one to suffer through the tour with.  And to make it worse, anytime that the tour guide made a joke that people didn't laugh at, which were most of them, he would say, "Ahhh whatever."  In case you didn't think that was bad enough, on the tour he pointed out important landmarks like Victoria's Secret, Starbucks, and the gas station on our right.  I am NOT kidding.  Painful.  Painful.  Painful.  The highlight of my day, the NBC tour.  Our tour guides were HILARIOUS, knew a lot about the studios (although I suppose that was their job), and CLEARLY loved what they did.  I learned Alec Baldwin has hosted SNL the most.  I also learned that the Dr. Oz studio is pretty small.  AND they keep all their studios at 40 degrees using refrigerated air, not air conditioning.  Great tour.  I recommend it to people visiting NYC. 

Picture I took to show my students that even in Brooklyn they want you to read! 

Health Updates 

The big part of yesterday was that I went to a Weight Watchers meeting.  It was actually really good.  It regrounded me.  I haven't worked out yet.  Although, I have been tracking all of my food and walking as much as possible.  Going to the meeting reminded me that I can't eat whatever I want JUST because I am walking everywhere.  It was good.  It was a wake up call.  :-)  She said something that really made sense to me.  When you hit goal, nothing much changes.  You only get 2-6 extra points a day.  That's not that much.  I guess why it hit me so much is that I have been just eating whatever I want here.  I can't do that.  I need to continue to be conscience.  This is a LIFESTYLE change!!!  I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!!  The trip to Whole Foods last night will help and I will continue working on my summer goals.  

Other Random Pictures 

Cool street art. 

Street Performer

Note that there is no one sitting in the chairs watching the performers.  TOO HOT!
We were all sitting safely in the shade. 

Happy Friday everyone! 

New York Entry #1

It's 5:00 am in New York and I should be asleep.  However, I have been awake since 3 am.  Annoying.  However, I have my 50 Shades of Grey trilogy to keep me company.  I am currently sitting in the small kitchen in my new dorm room/living quarters for the next 8 weeks.  I am trying to be really quiet as to not wake my roommates and I am hoping I am succeeding.  Although I did go to sleep around 10, so that's almost 5 hours, which is my norm.

For those of who don't talk to me on a regular basis, you may be thinking to yourself, "New York?  Our Minnesota theatre geek has headed to New York?"  Yes my friends.   8 weeks, the big apple and me!  I was accepted into graduate school at NYU and for the next 3 summers I will spend my summer in New York learning how to become a theater educator.  Very exciting stuff.

The rest of you might also be wondering, "What's all this have to do with your weight loss journey?"  In a nutshell, everything.

For weeks I have been stressing about eating and working out in New York.  As you can imagine, my students loans and lofty MN teaching salary will only go so far, so I need to be very conscience of what I am buying and a whole kitchen cooking set is not in the budget.  So, I what to eat and how to stay on plan has really be on my mind a great deal.  Therefore, the rest of this entry will talk about three things:

1. My Summer Plan, devised by my FABULOUS personal trainer 
2. My Feelings on the Summer 
3. The Blog during the Summer 

MY SUMMER PLAN 

This past week I sat down with Courtney, personal trainer and comedian extraordinaire.  She is probably one the funniest and most wonderful people I have ever met.  She has this way of making you feel like you could do anything and not judging if something goes wrong.  She has been one of the best additions into my life in the last couple months and I feel lucky that we could sit and formulate a plan, as well as joke about liking your own Facebook picture and renaming all the different workouts we do.  But I digress, back to the summer plan.  :-)  Last week we sat down and really thought through some feasible goals for the summer.  Since I have been training with her for 2 hours a week, I seriously don't want to lose the momentum that I have built.  Or eat whatever I want for 2 months.  That could have some serious results for my weigh-in in August.  I am sure some of you are thinking, "August! Where's the accountability?"  I know that may make you a bit nervous, but it's all part of my plan.  I am taking from now until September to NOT focus just on the scale and focus on what I am eating (paying attention to it) and the amount of physical activity that I am doing.  And so that you don't feel that I am just throwing away all my hard work, below are the goals that Courtney and I came up with (and the accountability measures  that will help keep me on): 

1. 30 minutes of walking a day (easy to do since yesterday I walked like 4 hours) 
2. 3- 30 minutes strength training a week
3. Tracking everything I eat (not with points, but what I am eating) 
4. Emailing Courtney 3 times a week and sending her pics of my food tracker and letting her know what I have been doing (whether I have done what I am "supposed to" or not)
5. Trying to lessen my carb intake somewhat 
6. Emailing/texting Shelby everyday (I added this one!) 
7. In August, I will do a food cleanse

I am excited about these goals because I can for sure do them and not feel obsessive about weighing in or what I am eating.  Besides, I have been working hard with Courtney and I don't want to lose what we have worked so hard for!  There are really muscles that are starting to look AWESOME.  Don't believe me, look below at our SWEET workout pics: 

MY FEELINGS ON SUMMER 

I wrote a post on my Facebook yesterday about this, but I am really happy.  I mean, truly happy with my life and the amazing people in it.  It was hard to leave to come to New York.  And while I am more than THRILLED and PUMPED to be on this adventure, there was some hesitation to leave behind my support system and my comfort zone (even knowing full well everything will be there when I get back).  My go-to hobby when I feel this way is to watch TV.  For the past 2 summers, I lived in Chicago working with some of my fave peeps ever.  However, I never really got out and explored what Chicago had to offer.  Even though I had lived there, I was living in totally different area and missed going to visit the amazing things that Chicago had to offer.  The point of this sob story is that I don't want to do that this summer in New York.  I want to experience everything that I can and take advantage of being in this city, which is truly alive 24 hours a day.  Yesterday after I arrived in my very small dorm room (more on that in a minute), I just sat on top of my dresser and stared out the window.  People, all kinds of people, walking fervently here or there.  And a giant sign saying, "It's Never To Late To Get Where You Are Going."  Now, even though I can be a habitually late person, I couldn't help but feel like this summer is going to be amazing and that I am going to go out of my comfort zone and explore what this city has to for me, EVEN when I am feeling nervous or lonely.  Or perhaps especially then.  I am not really one who likes to explore or be by themselves, and yet I somehow feel that part of what this summer is, is doing just that.  Being alone and exploring.  And being thankful that I have this experience.  :-)  Ok, so thank you for reading through that Lifetime movie that are my thoughts... However, I wanted to be honest with all of you about where I am mentally at the moment because I am realizing that it has SO much to do with how I am physically as well. 

THE BLOG THIS SUMMER 

So, onto the final piece of this blog post.  My blog this summer is going to take a small turn of content.  While it will also include thoughts about my weight loss and my exercise, I would also like to include my summer adventures and the things I do and an encounter in NY. :-)  And while I would LOVE to post about the exciting things that happened yesterday, I am going to try and go back to sleep, just for a bit, so that I can start my day with a bit more sleep. :-)

Happy Monday everyone!

Some Updates

I have had a couple of people ask me about the outcome of the Lucky Journal and what is going on with me.

Well first, The Magic Journal... I didn't lose weight that week.  But it was actually ok.  I tracked EVERYTHING.  I was SO good.  I worked out with my personal trainer a lot.  I worked out without my trainer a lot.  I worked out very hard. I worked hard.  I was proud of what I did even though I didn't lose weight and I was proud that I could tell the difference in my body.

Since the magic journal I haven't been as good on the eating front, but I have been working out a lot!  My personal trainer is kicking my butt!  She is getting me moving and actually enjoying working out a bit.

Jd and I also got a dog.  It's been GREAT for my work out routine.  I also love love love the dog.

Lastly, I am heading to NYC in less than two weeks... Soon I will be posting about my big summer plans for staying healthy. :-)

The Magic Journal

I am reading a book to my students called There's a Boy in the Girls' Bathroom.  In the story Bradley, the main character, gets a book from his school counselor.  Good things start to happen to him and he begins to believe that the book is lucky.  He believes that the book is actually the thing that is causing all the wonderful things to happen to him.  When in reality, it's his choices and the way that people are treating him that are making the new, great things happen to him.

Yesterday at my Tuesday night Weight Watchers meeting I acquired such a book.  It's called the "magic journal" and one person from our meeting takes it for the week.  Throughout the week I have to track everything I eat (like I would do normally) but in a book that is going to get passed from WWer to WWer.  So, the pressure is on.  Doubly because this is the first week our particular meeting group is doing it.  Triply because our meeting leader said that whoever has the magic journal will lose weight.   But again, HA, no pressure.  :-)

Well, so far the magic journal is doing its job.  I made good choices today.  I tracked it all and was kept from making some terrible, terrible choices!!  JD and I went to Olive Garden.  When we decided to go there all I could think about was lots of cheese, noodles, oil, and deliciousness. :-)

However, with my MAGIC JOURNAL I made GREAT decisions at Olive Garden.  Not only did I only eat 1 breadstick, NO salad, and 1 bowl of soup... I also had 1/2 my meal boxed before they brought it to my table.  I also only had one tiny bite of the mint and gave the rest to JD.

 So, not only did I feel full, eat less, but also have lunch for tomorrow!! 

I am really feeling proud of myself!  I know that it's not just the magic journal that is making these things happen, but that it's my choices that are helping.  I had a personal training session that went well, ate out without overeating, and only went over by 8 points.  So, thank you magic journal for a successful day 1!!  I hope the others are just as awesome!

A Mess Full of Thoughts

A Life Time Journey
Last week's weigh in did not go well... I knew it wouldn't.  Last week I was an EATING MACHINE!!!  I ate so much food.  McDonalds, Chipotle. Fries (like 4 times).  Pancakes.  LOTS of Twizzlers.  Chex Mix. M and Ms.  Yup, I ate and ate and ate. 

Now, normally when I write a post about my cruddy eating habits there is also a certain amount of frustration and whining about my choices.  However, this past week I sort of became zen with it.  There are going to be weeks in life that you just can't make THE BEST choices.  When other people are cooking you food, sometimes you can't say no.  And sometimes you don't want to say no.  And I think this way of thinking is really where the lifestyle change has come.  It would be easy to say, "Meh.  Oh well, fell off the wagon.  Guess I'll stay here..." But instead... back on I get.  I refuse to give up.  I refuse to let one, two, three, four weeks of bad eating take me off the path!  For as long as I live I have made the decision to be healthy and not give up when things get hard!!!

Shelbs
And truthfully... Right now, I couldn't do it without my friend Shelby.  She is my rock.  When I feel crappy, she makes me feel better.  When I feel awesome, she high fives me.  When I have a moment where I think I can't do it, I look at her and know I can (she looks GOOD!).  When I want to have an f* it day, she helps me get back on.  And every Tuesday when I walk into Weight Watchers, we hug, and I know I am not alone.  I feel lucky that I have her.

New Exercise
And today someone new came into my life.  My new personal trainer Courtney.  I didn't really let her know that I would be blogging about her.  But, I am sure she won't mind.  I am excited for our new exercise partnership.  When my last personal trainer told me she was pregnant, I was kind of devastated and I kind of gave up.  I didn't want to work out with anyone else.  I LOVE her and I loved how we worked together and it didn't seem like it would ever be fun again.  As many of you know, I HATE HATE HATE working out and it's hard for someone to make me enjoy our time together.  I miss her.  She is just awesome and I found myself thinking about our workouts together as I began my new adventure with Courtney. (I hope that at some points I can have 2 personal trainers and work with them both. :-))  However, until that time it's just Courtney and me.  And I have to say that this morning kicked my butt, but was good.  It felt good to be back working out.  Getting rid of the flabby arms and toning up some of my body.  And she was very patient as I had to sit and think about not throwing up.  She was supportive and I can tell that this is going to be a symbiotic relationship. 

In addition to Courtney, I have brought in another new member(s?) into my life... My roller blades!!! I LOVE them.  I am still scared out of my mind when I use them.  But I am way more excited to use them than I thought I would be... and I better use them... they weren't cheap. 

I call them the Ice Cream Cones... because to me they look like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream.  I feel free like a bird when I skate on them and I am getting excited to spend more time on them.   I look forward to blogging more about them and telling you how it goes.  I can tell you that 40 minutes on them is 8 exercise points... HECK YA!

Two TOTALLY Unrelated Food Things (unrelated to each other and the rest of this post)
I made chicken and roasted vegetables tonight.  And it was good.  I wanted to share because I feel proud of the choices I made today and the food that I made today. :-)

So, random and unrelated... I decided, just for something new, different, and fun.  That for this week, I am going to do a smoothie and vegetables for lunch everyday.  I started today at lunch.  I didn't LOVE the smoothie, but it had a lot of protein and I had a salad and I felt satisfied.  I will be interested to see how it goes.  Wish me luck. :-)

Those are the thoughts that I leave you with today... I am actually off to roller blade.  I will post again soon.

New Post Coming Soon...

Be ready for my new post about a new found hobby...

This is probably just going to sound like whining

It has been over a month since I last posted.  I kept telling myself it had nothing to do with how I am feeling as a Weight Watcher and more that I was too busy to post.  I have come to figure out that I don't think that is true.  I SHOULD be going to bed now, but I am taking the time to write a post.  I am making the time because tonight I am trying to re-take control of my eating, my health habits, and how I feel about myself.  

A year ago Sunday I hit 50 pounds lost.  It was an incredible feeling.  I was so proud of myself.  I could hardly believe that over 1/4 of my body fat was GONE!

A year later here I am.  Wavering between 45-55 pounds lost.  Don't get me wrong, I am proud of how far I have come.  I know that I have changed my life for the better.  And I also know that it means that I have essentially maintained for a year.  However, I DON'T WANT TO MAINTAIN IN THE 160s!!!!  I want so badly to hit the 150s and stay there.  I want to get myself back in the pattern of super healthy eating and working out.  I want to feel the awesome aura of working out, gaining muscle, and being able to eat a reasonable amount of healthy food and feel full. 

I am currently living in a world where junk food is acceptable.  I ate 5 brownies, 24 milk duds, and 2 cookies today.  It pains me to admit that.  It makes me feel embarrassed and ashamed and sad that I went against the logical side of my brain SCREAMING, "NO NO NO!!!!"  But that's not how it went down.  Instead I ate whatever I wanted to.  

This past week was my birthday week and I got it in my head that meant I could eat anything.  I slipped back into REALLY bad habits.  Like sneaking McDonald's and not telling anyone.  I feel huge.  I feel depressed.  I feel defeated.  I feel frustrated. 

You are probably reading this and thinking, "Emily, get off your a$$ and do something about it!"  As I wrote for the heading of this post, I KNOW that I sound like I am whining.  I should be able to get my butt off the couch and make changes.  I KNOW what I need to do!  I KNOW I need to workout, plan, and eat better.  I KNOW all these things.  However, staying on plan is not as easy as it sound.   

I started off the day in a super positive frame mind.  I planned to eat well!  I planned it all out.  I knew what I was eating and I wasn't supposed to use any flex points at all.  And instead I used 48 of my WEEKLY 49 flex points which don't renew until NEXT Tuesday.  Like I said, I KNOW what I need to do, but clearly I am not doing it. 

So, yup, I am whining and feeling depressed.  

With that said... I am also taking steps to make things better for myself, to get into better habits.  For example, I am: 

• Walking around the lake near school every day that it is nice and I don't have something right at 5 
• Talking to a new personal trainer to get me back on track 
• Making zumba a priority again 
• Starting C25K again 
• Writing in my blog (it does help me) 
• Texting my friends to help me stay on 
• Drinking at least 6 glasses of water a day 
• Cutting out soda again 
• Eating salad for lunch tomorrow (and I made it already!) 
• Asking for help!  

Tomorrow is a new day and I am going to try and put a positive spin on it.  And I think this week I am going to think about coming up with goals to hit before I leave for NYC in June! 

I KNOW I can do this!  I KNOW I will hit goal!  I KNOW I can be healthy.  I just need to motivate myself again and I need to try and remind myself how far I have come and how worth it this journey is. 

Glad to be back.  Happy ALMOST Friday! :-) 

And because pictures of what I look like are always a good reminder for me, below are 2 pics I took a week or so ago! They do help remind me of how far I have come... 

Patterns of the 160s

There are sometimes I want to kick myself.  Tonight is one of them.  I have a case of the Monday F*its.  Yup, that means that this weekend didn't go well.  Yup, that means I am going to gain tomorrow.  Yup, that means I feel kinda crappy about it.  But, I am also planning to own it.  No one else chose to eat 50 crackers and 6 tbsps of cream cheese except me.  You say disgusting, I think delicious.  :-)

What I did finally notice though, is that I had a specific pattern that I need to break.  I have 2 awesome weeks, then 2 awful weeks.  And they always even out, but I am not losing.

So, after eating all those crackers, and feeling GROSS.. full, guilty, sluggish... I have decided that my March goal is to break this cycle.  I will attempt to stay on plan for all of March, even Spring Break!  And I will track everything!  And if I accomplish it, I will celebrate with non-food items!

My other March goal is that I will work out at least 3 days each week (not including rehearsals).

I can do this!!!! :-)

I found some old pictures last night and I couldn't even believe that the person in the picture is me.  I have to keep fighting the good fight.  I need to keep making this a priority in my life.  This is the time of the year I get apathetic!  But not this year... we will call it my own kind of March Madness!!!

So, while I will stay on plan Tuesday/Wednesday... and then March 1, the CHALLENGE BEGINS!!

Below is the photo I was talking about... I hope it inspires you a bit too!

Happy Monday everyone!

Gamers Are NOT Healthy Eaters

I know this is a sweeping generalization.  But really, have you ever sat in on a DnD session?  There aren't many carrots with ranch dressing being passed around.  It's fat filled food, sugar filled sodas, the WORST (most delicious) kinds of snacks, candy, and other sweet treats.  I am not really exaggerating either.  If you have ever geeked out before with DnD (or some other role playing type game), you know what I am talking about.

So, you can imagine my stress around going to a gaming convention this weekend.  For 3 days straight JD and I will be gaming, role playing, rolling dice, wearing cloaks (not really, but that was for you DL and MW), and sitting on our butts with some of the Twin Cities most die hard gamers.  This is my second year going and I will be honest in saying that last year I did not count points that weekend at all.

If it were any other week, year, or month, truthfully, I might not.  But I have been SO on track the last 2 weeks, I have lost almost 6 pounds (and am back in my 150s!!!), that I don't want to blow it over Con of the North.  I am determined to see a loss on the scale.  So, instead of panicking and stressing I thought through the challenges...

1. Sitting on my rear end for 3 days with VERY little movement. 
2. Being around snack foods. 
3. Not cooking for myself. 
4. Having very little time between games. 
5. Getting a f* it attitude (IF I blow it).
6. At least 1 fast food meal. 
7. A lack of sleep, which leads to a lack of good choices, and also lots of drinking caffeine (which I haven't been drinking as much of).
8. The "reach-in-the-bag-and-eat-a-ton-of-crap-because-I-lost-count-of-how-many-I-ate-so-I-don't-care-anymore" syndrome.

I feel good about thinking through some of the things that are going to be hard for me.  And I have come up with my own solutions and (hopefully) it will help keep me from blowing it out hard. 

1. I saved 40 of my flex points for Saturday/Sunday. 
2. I have planned "walking" breaks into my schedule. 
3. I purchased fruit and other 0 point snacks for when I want to snack. 
4. I bagged ALL of my snacks and labeled them so I don't have the "reach-in-the-bag-and-eat-a-ton-of-crap-because-I-lost-count-of-how-many-I-ate-so-I-don't-care-anymore" syndrome.
5. I wrote myself a note with healthy fast food choices. 
6. I packed mostly water and a couple Diet Cokes. 
7. I bought 2 lunchables to help with lunches.  Yes, I paid for convenience, but I will be able to tell how many points I am eating. 
8. I packed my bag and told the boys that they are NOT to snack on my snacks. 
9. I got some protein filled snacks to eat when I am feeling hungry. 
10. I got WW friends to write in my book and have 4 friends ready to text me back if I need it. 
11. And most importantly, I have actually sat, thought, planned, and really made an effort to stay on plan this weekend. 

Although I have snacky snack foods to eat, they are packed, counted and ready to be written down.  I have put myself in the best position possible for this weekend and I couldn't be happier!  I can tell that I am making a lifestyle change because it isn't about what I can get away with, it's about SERIOUSLY making healthy choices that are going to be better than before (if not good) for my body!

So, I will leave you with pictures of my plan... And you shall wait, with bated breath, to hear about my success... Because it WILL be a successful, not over indulging, weekend! 

My "snacky" snacks so I can feel like a true gamer. 

My 0-2 point healthier snacks. 

Lunchables, so that way I can have a point counted and ready lunch. 

Extra bonus: Here's my blog post from this same convention last year... You can read how it was NOT a success! 

I Don't Have a Clever Title

Man, it has been a long time.  A long long time.  I should apologize and say that I am sorry.  But that would be making an excuse... and clearly I could have written if I had been motivated to... So, I won't apologize and will instead just write what's on my mind.

This whole being healthy thing is not as easy as I would like.  In fact it kinda sucks... And I don't think that it will ever be easy.  The last couple of weeks have been pretty frustrating.  I have been waffling between 157-164.  It's just annoying and it's nobody's fault but mine.

I sometimes feel like I still have a disorder.  When I was in high school I really struggled with food.  I talked to many a therapist about my eating habits.  I used to just not eat food, but now it's different.  It's hard to talk about and even harder to explain.  But, in the spirit of being honest in this blog, I will try.  When I make the decision to not track, I seriously go overboard.  And eat and eat and eat and eat until I feel sick.  Far past what I needed to or really wanted to eat.  And I feel guilty and yucky.  It makes me  think that I can't help it, it's compulsive and I fixate until I eat it and eat as much as my mouth wants.  It doesn't happen all the time, but the last two weeks I have been giving into the unhealthy decisions.  I even ate 4 pieces of pizza one night and snuck McDonalds.  And it totally wasn't worth it.

So, this week I am really trying to focus on being healthy and appreciating my life that isn't about food.

This may not be the most exciting post I have ever written, but I am just glad to be writing again!

:-)

Happy Wednesday!!

Here are some pictures of my food today!  Yay healthy choices.

Lunch

Dinner

Quick Before and After Shot

I am going to be writing a longer entry tomorrow... But for now... Here's a quick before and after shot.

February 2010 and January 2012

There IS Only One Emily

Let me start by saying... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! It's 2012!!! And it's been over a month since I blogged.

And I have to be honest, I have been avoiding my blog.  Avoiding it like the plaque.  And truthfully, I have no reason.  I have had plenty of time.  I got a new Ipad with the blogger app.  Exciting things have happened, but I haven't blogged.  I wish I could say that my computer broke and that electricity all over the state of Minnesota went out and so I couldn't blog, but that isn't the truth.  And I feel guilty about it.  Partly because I know there are people that want to read my blog, partly because I want to be a consistent and thoughtful blogger, but mostly because it means that for almost a month I have been making excuses and not being accountable to myself.

The interesting part of all of this, is that right before break I hit a HUGE milestone!!!! I hit my 150s.  The 150s are not numbers I have seen since my Sophomore year of high school.  So hurray for that.. However...

This would be even more exciting if I hadn't fallen COMPLETELY off the wagon RIGHT afterwards.  Eating like a pig.  All of my old habits came back full force.  Drinking chai teas, white mochas... Eating 5 meals a day, each with multiple desserts... And now I am back up 7 pounds.  Almost above the 50 pounds lost mark.  And it occurred to me.  I am not a NEW Emily.  I am the SAME Emily.  I want the same food.  I don't want to work out AT all.  I struggle with saying NO to food.  Talking about a NEW Emily and an OLD Emily makes me feel like when I want to eat whatever I want, I can just pretend that I am the OLD Emily.  But that's not true.  I CAN'T do that.  And when I do, my results aren't in the negative direction.  

So, yesterday I started the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred... It was unpleasant when I did it and my body has been very sore today, but it felt good to be back on the wagon.  I was on a good eating path today.  I was within my points, I ate salad, twice... I ate fruit, veggies... 

AND THEN I ate a muffin and lots of cereal... And I went over... And I felt sad. 

So, I did Jillian again AND zumba.  And then I realized that EMILY can do whatever she wants!!  All I have to do is focus on the positive.  

I am hoping that tomorrow I can do better.  I am going to take it one day at a time and reach out when I need help.  

My promise to you, my blogging community, is that this week I will check in again.  BEFORE next weekend.  And if I don't, you can send me some sassy mail... :-)  I am going to get back on the wagon. I am going to hit 145 by this time next year (hopefully sooner).  That is my New Year's resolution.  I will accept that I will always be Emily.  And that all I can work on in changing my choices.  Additionally, if I have a bad day or a bad week, I am not going to try not to get depressed or mopey.  I am going to try and find the positives and be proud of my accomplishment.  So, I will leave you with a picture series that I took after my workout.  It speaks to the last couple weeks and what is to come. 

I was in the 150s! 

There was food everywhere and I struggled to say no. 

And then I was feeling FAT. 

And I got on the scale and it was NOT good. 

And then I was sad about my weight gain.

But then I decided that being depressed is not going to help me get back on track. 

I am ready to kick some MAJOR butt!