This whole being healthy thing is not as easy as I would like. In fact it kinda sucks... And I don't think that it will ever be easy. The last couple of weeks have been pretty frustrating. I have been waffling between 157-164. It's just annoying and it's nobody's fault but mine.
I sometimes feel like I still have a disorder. When I was in high school I really struggled with food. I talked to many a therapist about my eating habits. I used to just not eat food, but now it's different. It's hard to talk about and even harder to explain. But, in the spirit of being honest in this blog, I will try. When I make the decision to not track, I seriously go overboard. And eat and eat and eat and eat until I feel sick. Far past what I needed to or really wanted to eat. And I feel guilty and yucky. It makes me think that I can't help it, it's compulsive and I fixate until I eat it and eat as much as my mouth wants. It doesn't happen all the time, but the last two weeks I have been giving into the unhealthy decisions. I even ate 4 pieces of pizza one night and snuck McDonalds. And it totally wasn't worth it.
So, this week I am really trying to focus on being healthy and appreciating my life that isn't about food.
This may not be the most exciting post I have ever written, but I am just glad to be writing again!
Here are some pictures of my food today! Yay healthy choices.