PREGNANT (No, I'm not!)
I want to start off this post with a memory that is seared in my brain. Although many thoughtless people had conversations like this one with me, this one is the one that really stays.
A conversation from April 2009 (exact wording may be changed, not on purpose, but because of my memory). Setting: Target in Chicago, me holding the 2 year-old child that I was a nanny for.
Check-Out Man: Good Afternoon, Mam.
Me: Hello there. How are you today.
Check-Out Man: I'm great. She is very cute.
Me: Thanks! She is pretty adorable.
COM: (as he is finishing putting everything in the bags) You must be excited about the next one. When are you due? Let me get someone over here to help you. EXPECTANT MOTHER NEEDS HELP!
At that point I could have argued with him and informed him that NO! I am NOT pregnant! NO! I do not need extra assistance! But, at that point, I figured I might as well just take the extra help carrying things to the car.
I am sharing this story because, to me, it captures the way that people view my body. This might not be true. However, when I look at my body in the mirror and my stomach is bigger than I want it to be, all I can think is that people think I look pregnant, so therefore I think that I look pregnant. Right now, this is how I feel, whether it is the truth or not.
After almost 2 months of being in Chicago and eating like old-Emily, I am certain that I have gained at least 10 pounds. This is not me being over-dramatic or trying to get people to say, "No! I am sure you didn't!" It is a true fact. I got on the scale at urgent care yesterday and the number stared at me in the face 172.6. I really did gain 10+ pounds, which just shows how easy it is to fall of the wagon and also makes me kind of surprised that I didn't weigh more when I started this journey. Here is a small taste of what my summer days of eating have been like (this is embarrassing and hard for me to share, but I feel that it is a necessity):
Large Mocha Lite
Blueberry Lemon Scone
1/4 bag of Swedish fish
Big Bowl stir-fry with crispy lemon chicken
Big Bowl spring rolls
4 lemon cookies (6 grams of fat a piece)
Olive Garden: 4 breadsticks, 2 bowls of salad, 2/3 of an entree, 1/2 a dessert
It would be ok if this was once and a while, but this has been all summer. Old Emily, who eats 6 meals a day that are full meals, chips for snacks, and doesn't drink water, was alive and well this summer. Eating and everything with the f* it mentality. I've already fallen off. I might as well enjoy it. I was ok with this attitude, because it meant I wasn't miserable when I went over.
BACK ON TRACK
So, now it's time to get back on! It's time to take control of my eating and exercising and my life. It's time get back on track to lifetime! :)
Here are somethings that I have done to make sure that I am getting there:
1) Re-signed up for the Maplewood Community Center
2) Called about personal training
3) Found at least one class a day that I could go to
4) Have reached out to almost all of my Weight Watchers friends (Meg, I am texting you today!)
5) Will go grocery shopping tonight to have good food
6) Cleaned the kitchen so it is ready to go
7) Am going to buy a brand-new 3-month journal
8) Go back to emailing my food to Meg, Serina (and hopefully Shelby)
9) Set up an incentive program with the appropriate people
10) BLOG!!!! I am blogging again!! This helps me stay accountable!
I can do this and I will!
SHOUT OUT TO JORDAN W
I wanted to send a special shout out to Jordan W! I unfortunately didn't get to see her this summer. But in a voice mail she left me, she commented that she hadn't seen any blog posts and that she was sad about that. I have been thinking about her voice mail every day and thinking that I really should get back on the wagon. So, Jordana! Here's a post for you! Come to Minnesota and visit me!!!
WATCH THIS VIDEO
The last thing I wanted to share is an inspirational video that I took off someone on facebook. It's the kind of video I am going to watch to keep me inspired. I think you should watch it too! Ben Does Life
KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR EXCITING NEWS
Also, there may be some exciting news about my blogging this year... I should know more in a week and I will share with you!
Happy Tuesday everyone!