Spoiler Alert! The big takeaway is that I have already had the fun. Allow me explain...
Yesterday I had to face a harsh reality. I have a lot of credit card debt. And I really didn't understand exactly how much I have or the work it takes to pay off credit card debt because of the interest. Yes, correct. I am 28 years old and I didn't really get how much money I bleed every day because of my credit cards.
Ok, now that that embarrassing piece of information is out in the open I can explain what this has to do with weight loss.
As it was explained to me yesterday (in terms of credit cards), I have already had the fun. I spent the money. It is gone. Past Emily took money from Future Emily and Present Emily is having to get things in order. To be clearer-- Since I already used the money, I can't spend that money on something else NOW because I need to pay back for the fun I already had.
DING! That's the AH HA moment. I ALREADY HAD THE FUN! I need to be a bit stingier now, so that in the future I can have money to use more responsibly. Get it? I already had the fun and now it's time to pay it back!
Don't fret! This sounds like a SUPER negative revelation but it's not. There are big life lessons hidden in the statement and glimmers of hope in this difficult process! It can't always feel like work. I would quit pretty fast if there was NO fun to be had. So, as I work to pay back myself, there will be smaller moments of fun (getting my nails done, coffee at Caribou once-in-a-while). But I need to teach myself how to capitalize on those moments of small fun RESPONSIBLY and occasionally use my money for the bigger things that I will SAVE for (not impulse buy)!
I hope this is making sense to you so far. And perhaps you already see how it correlates to food!
However, I "spent" a lot of my food "money" and now I need to pay myself back.
Perhaps this all sounds like crazy rambling to you, but for some reason it makes COMPLETE sense to me. My eating habits are like a bank. And my body is the most "financially stable" when I am "putting in" more to the bank by eating better and exercising and "withdrawing less/putting more on credit" by eating unhealthily and not taking care of my body. I need to get stingier with my food routines to actually CHANGE my food habits and create a more sustainable way of life.
YOU SEE? BIG LIFE THOUGHTS! I have already had the fun! :-)
Again, not that there isn't any fun to be had in the meantime, but it's time for some hard work to make up for the years of fun I have had without much consideration for the impact!
As blue as I felt yesterday, it was s hugely important moment for my life. I need to get things under control.
This post is hard to write because it's hard to be vulnerable about money and health. But perhaps this makes sense to someone reading and it sparks an AH HA moment.
Life is about the team that you have supporting you along the journey. Lucky for me I have an amazing team.
Today is a good day.