Busy day... You can't get me down!

I have a busy day today.  Busy busy busy.

8 am workout
9 am coffee date
10-12 am volunteering at my old school
12-1 pm lunch/work in the office
1-3 pm go out and meet with potential sponsors
3-7 pm work in the office
7-9 pm board meeting
9-10:30 pm travel home and make sure I am memorized for tomorrow's rehearsal

It's not going to be a bad day, just busy.  And if it wasn't clear by my schedule, after I leave at 8 am I will not be returning home until 10:30 pm.  So, I had two choices I could choose from.  Eat out for dinner and pick up quick meals/snacks in between everything OR make all my food in the morning to take with me for the day.

Before I give away which I chose (although you probably could guess), I want to let you in on my mood today.  I am feeling very proud of myself.  Yesterday I went over my points more than I had intended.  I used 6 flex that I wasn't planning on.  But here is the great thing about my WW reboot... I remember that THAT'S OK!  I don't need to toss in the towel because I ate a couple extra points! AND it wasn't on anything terrible.  I had veggies and ranch dressing!  Between that and skittles, which is better?  EXACTLY!  So, I am ok with my 6 points over.  And today I am making up for it by planning the entire day and MAKING SURE I stay on that plan!

And so, spoiler alert, I chose planning my whole day, preparing it, and taking it with me... So for your reading pleasure... Presenting Emily's Food For Thursday...

My food for today

Let me break it down for you meal by meal!

Breakfast
Kale and Sausage (2 points)

Afterwork snack
Kale and Sausage again (2 points)

Lunch
Salad w/left over beef stroganoff (no noodles!) (8 points)
Carrots/Cucumbers with KEFIR ranch dressing (which is so so good) (3 points)
Apples and my amazing cream cheese (3 points)

Dinner
Salad w/carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, sliced up turkey and the ranch dressing (5 points)
Apples and cream cheese (3 points)

Liquids
Water (at least 5 water bottles full)
Coffee with milk x2 (2 points)

Ok, I know what you are going to say.  And if you know me you know these meal choices are very typical of "can't do anything in moderation Tinawi".  I get on "kicks".  So right now, I am ALL about the ranch salad and apples with cream cheese.  As I was preparing my food this morning I was actually thinking about my stir-fry kick, my plain chicken breast kick... and how funny I can be with my eating habits when I am really sticking to the plan.  But it works for me.  And truthfully, until this "kick" is over, I probably won't get bored.  Better this "kick" than my one this summer which was filled with crepes (oh, so good, but not good for me) and cheeseburgers with fries!  So, I will happily indulge in this set of foods and hope it continues to help me see results on the scale, in my body, and most importantly mentally.  I love the energy I feel everyday from kicking the crap out of my system!  

I am off to workout.  But I can feel it... Busy day you won't get me down...

And OCTOBER 31... 
15 pounds... 
here I come! 

And the results are in...

So, today is Tuesday.  Tuesday is weigh-in day.  I haven't posted any results since my WW reboot. Well... here are my results from my first two weeks REALLY being back following the WW plan...

Week 1 Loss: 

• Total from WW reboot: -3.8 pounds
• Total from original WW start: -22.6 pounds

Week 2 Loss: 

• Weekly total: -3.6 pounds
• Total from WW reboot: -7.4 pounds
• Total from original WW start: -26.2 pounds 

I am feeling so excited about my progress!  

I am excited that I CAN do this!

I am excited that I am getting healthy! 

I am excited that I am working out with my amazing personal trainer, Courtney, 3 times a week! 

I am excited and thankful for all the support I have in my life. 

I am excited to plan my meals this week! 

I am excited to keep on my new, revitalized WW plan!

I feel GREAT!  

And not just because of the weight I am losing but because I am getting healthy! 

I am getting myself back to taking care of myself. 

And to end this entry I want share my new favorite snack.  I discovered it on accident and have been eating with at least two meals a day since. 

It is only 1 point for each tablespoon!  I eat it with an apple every day. 

As I continue on my 3rd week of WW rebooted (with pumpkin cream cheese), I am really trying to be good, stick to the plan, and create goals.  So, my goals for this week:

• Wednesday and Thursday-- No flex 
• Saturday and Sunday-- Use allotted flex
• Exercise 3 days at least 

I'll update later this week with how everything is going.  Keep sending me your good thoughts and support.  I really need it! 

 

It's Decided!

This starting over thing has been GREAT so far!  I am feeling excited.  I am feeling determined.  I am feeling like I can do this!

At "my first" Weight Watchers meeting on Tuesday the leader talked asked how we were feeling about Weight Watchers and our ability to be successful.  The most positive option was invincible and the least positive was fair.  And I said out loud without even thinking, "So fair!"  And of course it was kind of quiet at the moment and everyone looked to see what our corner had said.  But after being embarrassed I realized how fast it came out of my mouth and how much I felt  it's true.  I was feeling lousy about WW and what I felt like I could do.

I have gained 30 pounds in 2 years.  What is my problem?! And I couldn't even really listen to the rest of the meeting because I was so angry.  Just angry. Angry at WW.  Feel skeptical of people that had lost 100 pounds and were talking about their success even though two years ago that had been sharing my successes. And I couldn't help but get furious at myself.  And as I was sitting there feeling overwhelmed, my friend, Shelby, sitting next to me whispered, "When I started doing WW, I totally felt invincible."

And it hit me.

She is right.  When I started WW it was like a new relationship.  Everything was all flowers and sunshine. Difficult flowers and sunshine, but exciting, new, fun, and rewarding.
And I was excited to go to meetings.
And I was excited to weigh in.
And I was excited to share with new people coming in.
And I was excited to work out (some times).
And I was excited to write on my Facebook and blog about my successes.

And in that moment all the shame and frustrations I was feeling started to lift.  I had been feeling like a fraud.  A WW fraud who didn't deserve to write an "inspirational" weight loss blog or share my journey or be proud of the 19 pounds I lost in 2009/2010.

I wanted to smack myself!  I had gotten lazy and embarrassed... but not writing it on a blog or on Facebook didn't mean I was getting any healthier.  The "woe is me" spiral wasn't helping at all.  My clothes weren't magically going to start to fit again.

So, I decided to "restart" WW.  This is my first week.  And I am lucky to have such supportive people in my life.  Jd has asked me every day how my first week is going.  Shelby has texted/snapchatted me multiple times a day. And back on Tuesday when she and I went to coffee after the WW, we looked deeply and honestly at how to change and get back on.  She helped me realize I needed to think honestly and not emotionally.

So, in addition to starting over on WW, I also made 3 goals based on my challenges.

• Since it is new, I am going to make sure that I am really tracking everything. AND I will not go over my points either Wednesday or Thursday so I can save them for this weekend (which has a lot of food challenging activities).  
• And will send my tracker to Shelby and Courtney every day.
• And I am going to blog three times before next Tuesday. 

I AM PROUD THAT I ACCOMPLISHED MY FIRST GOAL!  I didn't use ANY flex points Wednesday or Thursday and I made lots of GREAT choices!  This has been something that I have been struggling with since I got back from Europe, and before (if I am being honest).  And even though it wasn't easy I DID IT!!

I KNOW I have some eating challenges coming up this weekend but I know since I am no longer feeling fair (I am INVINCIBLE), I ,CAN DO IT!  Today I have packed my lunch.  A morning shake, an after working out egg and kale snack, a sandwich and salad for lunch, and a gluten free pretzel snack for when I am feeling starving at 2.  I have planned and  I am ready.  And as a treat, I am having sushi out tonight at dinner and I have already tracked my day and allotted the amount of points I have to use tonight!

My lunch.  Although I don't get to drink the Fresca if I haven't had two whole bottles of water already!

My lunch packing buddy!

I feel good.  I feel happy.  I feel proud.  I feel invincible.  Two solid days of remembering that I can do this. Of going back to the "honeymoon" phase and really investing in ME has made me remember that I can do this.  And it doesn't matter that I have gained 30 pounds back.  I am going to look FORWARD.  I remember that feeling of giddiness getting ready for Tuesday weigh in!

I am off to workout with Courtney for the third time this week! And I will continue to make working out with her a priority!

It's decided... This is a marathon and not a sprint and I CAN DO IT! AND I AM WORTH IT! 

Exciting News!

Hello Blogging World!

I know it has been a long, long time!  I have some exciting news.  I joined WEIGHT WATCHERS today!  Apparently it is a life-changing, weight loss program that really works.  I went to my first meeting today.  I sat next to this really nice girl named Shelby. There were also two women at the meeting who have lost over 75 pounds.  That gives me hope that I can too.  I weighed in and almost flipped out when I saw the number. 194.8 pounds.  Almost 200.  It's depressing and it made me wonder how I got here.

Ok. Ok. We all know that it wasn't my first Weight Watchers meeting!  In fact, I have been doing WW for almost 4 years.  However, somewhere along the way I lost my enthusiasm and my dedication for my weight loss.  So, here is the deal... I am starting over.  It's a clean slate...

SO...

Today I joined WEIGHT WATCHERS!  And I am very excited to be starting this new journey.

AND... I made 3 goals for my first week:

• Since it is new, I am going to make sure that I am really tracking everything. AND I will not go over my points either Wednesday or Thursday so I can save them for this weekend (which has a lot of food challenging activities).  
• And will send my tracker to Shelby and Courtney every day.
• And I am going to blog three times before next Tuesday. 

I am very excited for this new adventure!  I am ready to own this new life change that is called WW! I am planning on losing at somewhere between 10-15 pounds lost by Halloween!  I SO can do this! 

Here is a picture of what I look like at my starting weight... 

Wish me luck in this new endeavor!