What this entry is about really is coming to the understanding that MY PERSONAL JOURNEY... how much I lose, what I do with my body, what size clothes I wear... has NOTHING to do with anyone else.
Sometimes it's hard to not be jealous of other people's successes! It is hard to not think,
- "MAN I wish that I was losing weight faster"
- "They haven't been doing this as long as me!"
- "They said they ate terribly! How come they lost 5 pounds?!"
- "What am I doing wrong?"
- "If I were them, I could do that too!"
Not all of these are nice thoughts... but I am sure that I am not the only who has let those poisonous thoughts creep into their mind.
But here is the truth... what good do those thoughts do?! Seriously! For one thing, they accomplish nothing. For another things, those people aren't ME! They have their own bodies that react to things in different ways. They are going on their own journey. They live different lives. They make different choices.
And instead of feeling the twang of jealousy, I should focus on the inspiration. Changing my thoughts into:
- "What's one suggestion they could give me?"
- "Could they share a recipe with me?"
- "Could we text and be supportive?"
- "Look at what people could accomplish!"
- "How inspiring!!!"
Maybe this seems like a silly post to be writing. But, I found myself being very negative on Tuesday. I didn't lose ANY weight, but I didn't gain any either. It could have been because I have been extra emotional and moody (sometimes that happens). It could have been because I am feeling anxious about some life changes. Who knows... but for about 20 minutes I threw myself a pity party. Instead of being very excited for my friends, I pouted. How selfish of me! How could I possibly not be ecstatic for my friends when it was my fault for not losing like I wanted?
And as I was sitting in the Weight Watchers meeting it hit me like a train...
BAM! This is MY journey!!!!! This was a revelation for me! My journey!! No one else's and I need to focus on that. Only I can make MY decisions (don't I tell my students that EVERY DAY?!) and I am the only one that I should focus on!
So to my two friends who hit the most amazing milestones this week... Words cannot express how proud of you I am! You are amazing, beautiful women whose journey, courage, and strength help keep me going!
No matter what happens, I will keep running this marathon... I DESERVE IT!!