Tuesday, December 13, 2011

On or Off... How I DIDN'T Handle a Tracking Disasters

I think that problem that many of us face is that there is no in between.  It could be just me.  But it seems to be a big struggle.

You are either good or you are bad.
You are perfect or you are terrible.
You look ugly or you are pretty.
You are skinny or you are fat.
You are in or you are out.
You are on or your off.

Again, it could be just me, but that's how it seems to go for me.  Either I am following my plan 100% or I am off the plan 100%.  You know... Perfection or what's known as the f*its.

Last week I was SO on it!  Feeling the lifestyle change!  Feeling good about my choices.  Planning everything ahead of time.  Really savoring my flex points.  And it was AWESOME!!  I lost 3.8 pounds.  I lost everything that I had gained the week before.  I was drinking all the water I needed to... Really ON PLAN!  And it worked out EXTREMELY well.  I am only .4 pounds away from being in the 150s.

This week I was ready to go.  They just changed over to PointsPlus 2012 and with the new plan I lost 21 points a week, 3 points a day.  That may not seem like much to you, but it's a WHOLE lot to me! That's almost half my flex points a week.  But despite all that I was READY to take on the week!!  READY READY READY!  The week started GREAT!  I was tracking every BLT (bite, lick, or taste).  I planned out the whole week.  I knew Monday was going to be a hard day, so I backwards planned.  I started with Monday and figured out the rest of the week based on how many flex points I had left after Monday.  It was SURE to be another HIGHLY successful week.


I forgot my tracker at school on Friday.

This might sound extreme to you, but I had a complete meltdown.  Not just a few tears, but anxiety took over my body and my sweet loving boyfriend had to take care of the sobbing, irrational Emily.  Add a little womanly issue into the mix as well and you get an Emily who cannot think in a productive way.  I completely panicked.  JD tried to give me some great advice... Be super cautious, write it all on another piece of paper, don't overeat... But I somehow didn't really hear it.

I did overeat.  The options in my brain were black and white.  I didn't have my tracker, I couldn't follow my plan, I had already been bad... So I kept eating.  Twizzlers, crackers, artichoke dip... I went over by 28 points this week.  NOW... in a perfect world I would still lose tonight.  That is only -7 from the 29 a day I used to get and I worked out twice this week... but I am not sure it's going to happen.

In fact, I am pretty sure it's not gonna happen...

What I need to figure out is... How can I get my brain to realize that I know it's not black or white.  JUST because I am "bad" one day doesn't mean I should continue that way the next day.  It doesn't mean that I should be "off" plan... It isn't always ALL or NOTHING... I can have one bad day and still get one.  I should get to a point where I can accidentally leave my tracker at school and not have the world collapse.

As I have said many times (hopefully the more times I say it the easier it will be for me to REALLY grasp) this is a marathon not a sprint.  And this world isn't black or white.  There are lots of shades of grey... and I have the ability to get back on.

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