Decisions

So, it has been decided.  For good or for bad.  That I am not tracking until I get home.  This was a big decision to make, but it was one that had to be made.  I may regret this decision when I get home and I step on the scale, but for my mental stability, it had to happen.  I am still trying very hard not to fall into old Emily ways, although 4th weekend was NOT good in this respect, but I am not writing everything down.

Everyday, I was feeling SO guilty and SO stressed out, that it was interfering with my job.  Not only that, but I was feeling TERRIBLE about myself.  Like a failure, like someone that doesn't know how to take care of themselves.  It was truly becoming an obsessive issue and THIS is like old Emily.  Obsessing, feeling guilty... And I DON'T want to be that person again.  I was so unhappy for SO many years.  Seriously.  I'm feeling good about my body.  I am feeling good about my life.  I need to have a healthy relationship with food in order to make it through the next 21 days.  And then I will sign up for another 5k!  And I will join a dance class.  And I will be making dinner all the time.

Tomorrow starts today.  And today, I am making this decision, even though it may not be by the book, it's the decision that I have to make. 

On a positive note, Shelby, THE BESTEST, sent me a card and I carry it with me!!  It's a reminder! :-)

So thank you to those people who have sent me positive notes along the way! :-)  Keep it up!  They are going to help me get through these 21 days of hard eating!!! :-)

THANKS SHELBY!